The Unsung War
by Majin Prince
Summary: The Demons of Razgriz... We all know this story well but see it from the eyes of the ACES. Blaze, Nagase, and more share their story of the Unsung War. Listen to them tell of the battles and the in between moments they shared during the conflict. First Person. Eventual Blaze/Nagase. Very slow burn.
1. Learn to Fly

A/N: Another story started, wow I should really stop doing this. Anyway hello to you and welcome to my story on Ace Combat 5 and other things. I just find it sad that this category is so down and the lack of really good AC5 stories made me motivated to write this. Also because I love Ace Combat and all the characters in 5. Ace Combat 5, in my opinion, has the greatest diversity in the main characters and the story line is EPIC and I have wanted to write this for so long so here it is. So I shouldn't have to give you a summary but I suppose I will. So besides the whole story thing I love the pairing of Blaze/Edge and I am really disappointed to not see more of their pairing. And my ultimate goal is to do the game justice by providing a well written story that attempts to contrast perfectly with the characters. So let me know what you think and if you agree or disagree with anything in this story.

Summary: Play the game!

Disclaimer: This is purely fiction and I do not own any rights to the game or the series so please don't sue.

Learn to Fly

 _When history witnesses a great change Razgriz reveals itself. First, as a dark demon. As a demon it uses its power to rain death across the land. And then it dies. However, After a period of slumber, Razgriz returns._

It is no surprise that my story was told far and wide, and it was accurate, for the most part. The story of flying aces, demons if you will, that came to destroy the world with fire and war only to save it from the true enemy. We had our nicknames, or laughs, our tears, but above all we had the fame. And we loathed it. The fame made us become targets and tarnished our reputation, it tortured us. It was caging us and breaking us piece by piece. If we didn't have each other than we would not have made it.

We all had something to hold on to. Or someone. We all had things to keep us going, to keep us unfocused from the hostility and chaos of war. During the time we all had hit our breaking points. The point at which we snapped but we had each other to help us. The battles, the war itself, and everything in between. This was our story.

Our story started before the fame, before the war, before Sand Island even. Our story wasn't complex or thought out, but it was our story. It wasn't a fairy tale or a movie, it wasn't supposed to be. It wasn't meant to end with a happily ever after or a peaceful walk into the sunset, nothing like that. The happiness was marred by the death and destruction we endured, and created. The only thing I could relate to our story was the one book I knew. The one you know. You may know our story, but you don't know the way we told it.

And to start our story we have to go back to the beginning…

The start of my story.

My name is Blaze. I know what you're thinking; what kind of a name is Blaze? Well to tell you the truth it was probably not my real name but it didn't matter. Besides what is really behind a name? Well I guess there's a lot behind mine. Anyway…

I was born at the end of 1985 in a small town in Northern Osea, or so I have been told. The only thing I know of my birth and past is what has been told to me so I will tell you the same thing. I came from a very poor family as my father was a gambler and a drunk so we didn't have much. When I wasn't even three months old my father was killed in a car accident. I don't remember anything about him but from what I heard was that he was a good person before I was born. So I guess I was the cause of him turning into a bad man, whatever. My mother had died during my birth so I had no one after he died. I was blamed for both my parents' death. As if I was some sort of Demon. Again, if you believe in fairy tales or that sort of thing.

After that I was sent off to live with my grandfather, my father's father. He barely even knew about me being born but he had taken me in nonetheless. My grandfather was younger than most, as my parents were barely twenty when they had me, so he did not look like your typical old man. He was a cold and very demanding man. He was very big on respect and barely showed love. He was verbally abusing and emotionally distant. I never truly felt love from him. Maybe I was just so naïve in my young age. Also living with us was my uncle who was barely seven years older than me. He and I developed a very close relationship, as he was the closest thing I had to a brother or any family for that matter.

My grandfather did not know my name so he decided to name me himself. He decided on a name when I looked at him and he had one look in my eyes. Why were they so important? Well my eyes were not a natural color. They were as red as the setting sun. So naturally he decided to name me Blaze. He was also quite intoxicated at the moment he named me, maybe it was chance. So I was named Blaze Michael, Michael being my father's last name. Some sort of religious connotations behind it but I didn't care about that until much later.

My grandfather raised both me and my uncle on his own. He helped shape me into the man I was going to become. By that I mean that he was a very distant man, usually showed me the cold shoulder, but he did teach me to handle things myself and to never give up. He was a respectable man in his own accord but I never felt love in my childhood. We spent a peaceful ten years in Northern Osea, I was in school as was my uncle while my grandfather worked. He was an airplane mechanic and worked on the engines.

During the early years of school the teachers thought I was something of evil. Maybe I was, my odd color of eyes and cold personality, even at a young age, was a sign of things to come. I wasn't defiant but I wouldn't listen to anyone. I didn't see the point in listening to someone I didn't respect. And few earned my respect. Going through school I never had friends never had someone to confide in, save my uncle, but I learned how to solely rely on myself. All in all this part of my life was the easiest. Then the war came.

1995, you know which war I am talking about. The Belkan War. I was only nine at the beginning of it. It wasn't much to me until the Belkan army invaded our city. Our grandfather took the initiative and moved us to the neighboring country of Ustio. He was among the many Oseans that moved to the neutral country of Ustio, but it wouldn't stay like that. When Belka came to that country as well my grandfather enlisted in the military.

Before the war my grandfather worked in a plane factory for twenty years so he was much needed as a plane mechanic for the Ustio Air Force. While the war waged on my grandfather moved us to southern Ustio away from the war. I do not recall a lot of the war, in fact I don't even remember the news reports that came on during the time. While my grandfather was away my uncle took over as guardian. However, my grandfather came home from time to time to tell us stories of the war. And those stories was all that I remembered. He told us of the pilots he had met and all the daring missions they took on. He would often compare air force pilots to angels and demons. That their battles were like a divine fight, and that the Devil was not always the bad guy.

Out of all the names of the pilots' one stood out to me. Cipher. Or the demon lord my grandfather called him. I learned of the turn of the tide of war that Cipher alone caused. He seemed like a god amongst men. My grandfather said he would single handedly win the entire war. I believed it, I only wish he would have lived to see it happen.

The Belkan's had launched a surprise attack at the Air Force base my grandfather was stationed at. He didn't survive. Cipher had apparently been in the air away on a mission that day. My heart was full of hate over the loss of the only true parent I ever had. Even if he wasn't all that good, but how was I supposed to know that? He was all I had.

Very few showed to the funeral. Most were friends from the war and my uncle and myself. After the reception my uncle and I remained for a long while when I noticed something on the tombstone. It was reflecting from the light of the sun and it had caught my interest. I approached it and looked closely at it. I saw that it was dog tags and I grabbed them as my uncle came over to see what I was doing. I had expected to see my grandfather's name on it but I was shocked to learn it was not his. I stood there stunned while my uncle looked at it as well to see the only name on it.

Cipher.

That was all it said on the dog tag. No number, no blood type, no religion just a name. When it hit me that the ultimate fighter pilot was here at the funeral I tried to remember the faces of the men I saw there. But it was all just a blur and none really stood out as a demon lord of the sky. Maybe that is how he always wanted it. To remain anonymous on the ground and a god in the air. I never did try to find the man known as Cipher, I respected his wish to remain hidden. But I did take the dog tags, it became my most valuable possession.

A few days later Cipher single handedly ended the war and faded in history. I suppose that is incorrect. He was removed from history. All records of the war removed almost everything about him. There was only brief references to him. Only those that were in the war or told of it first hand knew the truth before that reporter exposed his story sometime around 2005 or something.

Since that day I became fascinated by the man and all pilots in general. My record shows that I did normal in school but I was a real nerd. I could have skipped a grade or two but I slacked off on purpose. Anyway, I began to research and study the Air Force and planes, anything to keep fueling my interest. I became obsessed with the art of flying. That was not what motivated me to become a pilot though. It was my entire life experience that led to it. I was always the outcast, by myself my entire life. I felt so out of place in the world, like I would never be accepted. Flying seemed like a way to break free, and seeing how Cipher was able to be no one on the ground then a demon lord in the sky I saw a chance. I wanted that, to be feared and respected in the sky and then fade away to nothing when I was not in the sky. Cipher and myself gave me the motivation to fly with a purpose.

My uncle and I lived together getting money from where we could for the next two years. Ever since my grandfather died I developed an anger problem and was quick to lash out. I was always picked on in school because mostly of my eyes. What kind of a person has red eyes? I guess when your different you get singled out and beat up. But after the war I fought back. I had never cared what others thought and it was added with the loss of my only parenting figure. In doing so I was expelled three times and had multiple problems with teachers. My entire school experience would be summed up with the word isolation. I was anti-social and a dark kid. But not emo or that crap. I was dark and brooding but not stupid enough to inflict pain on myself. My outlook on life was always grim and my personality was nonexistent. I never conversed with anyone and was the quietest one in school. When I did talk it was always to the point, no point in small talk, it got everyone nowhere. I was often labeled as a demon, and I kinda liked it. And I got used to it.

It wasn't until my uncle was eighteen that we moved back to Osea. He wanted to go to college there but after a year he dropped out. He was offered a scholarship at a university in Usea, the other side of the world, when he was twenty and he left but made sure I was financially supported. He was reluctant to leave me but I insisted that he shouldn't feel the need to give up opportunity just because of me. He was in North Point during the time of the war in 2005. I heard reports that he had died, that and he never contacted me again. I was alone after that, though, I suppose I was always alone. Death seemed to follow me like a lost dog. After that I really did feel like a demon. Born out of hate and misery, set to plunge the world in fire. I think I read that in a religious book or something, but I digress. After the war in Usea I was all alone, just me and my demons.

Also, growing up I realized I was very different. I would never show off my emotions to others and I almost never interacted well with others. But probably my biggest difference was in my mind. You know that there are some kids who believe themselves bigger than others because they lack a specific emotion like a conscience or happiness. I was not like them. They would fake it until the need arrived. For me, the emotion missing was fear and I couldn't fake that. I had not once in my life experienced fear. I was never afraid, when people asked me what I was afraid of and I said nothing everyone thought I was lying to look tough. It was no lie, I truly did not fear anything. I could die and I still wouldn't be afraid. I suppose it went fitting with my life. The fear of death was never on my mind. Fear of being nothing was not there. Fear of failing didn't exist. Fear of others never happened. And fear for others didn't come to me.

During high school I had often voiced my desire to be an ace pilot and was repeatedly put down for it. Especially by adults. They told me I needed to do something realistic, something that I could actually see myself doing. And yet they got mad when I told them off. I set out to prove everyone wrong.

After I had graduated I had a number of odd jobs while I saved up to go to the Air Force academy. I realized it would take a few years of school in order to fly but that was alright, after all I graduated valedictorian of my high school class. I was a little smart. Probably more than I give myself credit for.

Finally in 2008 I was accepted into the Osean Air Force Academy. I had a hard time getting in, not because of my qualifications but because of my race. My father and grandfather were full blooded Oseans, however, from what my grandpa said my mother was half Belkan and half Usea. FCU, or Federation of Central Usea to be specific. Even though I was only one fourth Belkan it was enough to question my loyalty. I had no love for Belka. I despised them all, they were nothing but cowards in my eyes. But I eventually just left out the fact I was a little Belkan and I got accepted. The starting point to my life as an ace.

After several months of training in a classroom I was sent off to Heierlark Air Force Base. It was a base located in South Belka or North Osea as it was now called. But to me, and most residents there, it was still South Belka. It gave the eerie feeling like it was too.

I wasn't the most favored trainee going through the academy. I was quiet which some mistook for shy and I didn't want to be close to anyone in particular. Again, I was an outcast, but I was used to it. Besides, I was better than all of them at flying. I had natural flying skills, unhuman like reaction timing, and a quick calculating mind that helped in dogfights. The high ranking officers and training staff so my potential but could see the disrespect for leadership I coveted. I wouldn't be afraid to voice my opinion when I felt something was wrong or an order was obviously FUBAR. It wasn't that I hated everyone who gave me an order, you had to earn my respect first. And so far not one person had earned that respect.

Until I met them…

First was her.

It was towards the end of September 2009 and my training unit had a fighter simulation. I was not familiar with the other trainees in my unit as I avoided all social activities or the chance to go out with the group. Also, they had all avoided me like I was a disease. Was it my name? My eyes? Or the fact that I could shoot practically anyone down? I never knew.

We were paired up with a wingman and were put against another pair. My wingman was the loud Alvin H. Davenport. If only I knew I would be seeing him more often. We were all awaiting our turn while he was talking my ear off about the hot trainees that he was going to get with. When the topic turned to music however he caught my interest. I didn't let him know at the time but we both were Rock and Rollers. Instead I sat quietly half listening.

"Alvin Davenport and Blaze Michael." The officer called our names. We both adjusted our gear and got set up in the simulator. Every time I ever got into the cockpit of a plane, simulation or not, I had a sort of good luck ritual. I never believed in luck as I was the most unlucky person in the world. But when it came to this it was special. I would take out the dog tags of Cipher and hold a moment of silence, then I would do the cross symbol as a sign of asking forgiveness, though I doubt I received any, and finally placed it in the pocket over my heart. It was a tribute to Cipher, my grandfather, and God that I would not fail them each time I got into a plane.

I never did catch the names of who we were up against but it really didn't matter to me. In terms of scores I was one of the lowest trainees in our group but when it came to the actual flying and dogfights, I had yet to be shot down and I always won. I had heard that another in our group had the same statistics but I didn't pay attention.

The simulator started and we flew straight on. I had Alvin check the radar while I checked the visuals. We didn't make contact for a few minutes. Then the two dots popped up somehow already behind us. I made Alvin break off and I kept flying straight making take the bait.

Usually when I flew in a group or pairs I never thought about the wingman or other pilots but this time was different. Because of my lone wolf tactics I was singled out by officers as a waste of talent. They said I couldn't be a pilot because I couldn't learn to work in a formation. This time though, I would prove them wrong. My motives for teamwork were not because of that though but because something deep inside me wanted to see if I could fit into a squad.

The two planes flew behind me and got a lock. I hit the acceleration as hard as I could and made simple moves to make it appear as though I was trying to shake them. Over the radio I was telling Alvin when the best time to strike was. I waited until both planes were right on me then I stopped my evasion. Alvin slid in behind them and fired at one. The other then fired at me and I cut the engines making my plane stall.

I flipped the plane over and darted towards the ground. The missile lost me when I made the daring move to stall. I looked on the radar to see that Alvin had taken out the one he targeted but the other was on him faster than I recovered. I gave the pilot props for not taking me, the bait, again and instead going after my wingman. I floored it and flew right behind the enemy plane as I heard Alvin yelling about how he was locked on. I quickly got a lock and fired just as fast.

I was stunned when the plan barrel rolled narrowly avoiding the missile. I turned off and followed. The pilot was really good. They were mirroring my every move and dropped their speed making it so when I got the plane in a lock I wouldn't have time to shoot before they were gone. Alvin tried to trail behind but he was left in the dust, the way I saw it was that it was me and the other pilot.

After a few tricky moves the pilot was somehow able to come up behind me. When I heard my warning systems go off I broke off and went straight to the sky. The acceleration and height was almost too much but I held my own as the pilot quickly followed but was left way back. When I almost hit the ceiling height I flipped the plane and shot like a bullet for the enemy plane.

It was about to be a high speed collision. In my mind I quickly calculated that a missile wouldn't be fast enough so I disregarded the lock on I had. When I was almost in range I heard the faint sounds of bullets flying past me. The other pilot had already started firing their guns. I squeezed the trigger and let out a hail of my own gunfire. If you didn't know it is very difficult to aim at such high speeds and elevation, it makes the bullets trajectory impossible to guess.

I heard damage systems say my plane was hit but I knew I scored a few hits as well. It was only a matter of milliseconds until one of us broke off or hit each other. But neither of us backed down. We kept the same course straight at each other and firing our guns at full force something had to give, and it did.

Finally, within a few hundred feet off each other, the other pilot's plane erupted into flames but it was too late for me. I was going too fast at the plane and I was too close to move. I crashed into the enemy plane blowing both of our planes out of the sky.

In a way we had both taken out each other but I had always counted it as me crashing instead of getting shot down. The simulator shut down and I exited. When I got out and took off my helmet I noticed Alvin coming over to congratulate me.

"Damn fine flying Blaze! That was a kick ass move!" He said slapping me on the back.

"It was nothing." I brushed off and headed towards the officer for the results. "I died anyway." I reminded him.

"Yeah but you went out in a blaze of glory, no pun intended." He laughed at his own little joke and I just frowned. When I got to the training officer he was already displeased and told me so.

"Blaze, you flew recklessly endangering yourself and your wingman several times. Not to mention that stunt at the end there." I rolled my eyes. Lectures were all the same and I heard them all. "But you did win the match since your wingman survived. Which is a first for you." He grumbled. Next to me Alvin nudged me and laughed. I rolled my eyes and kept my attention on the instructor. He was about to continue his little lecture when the fighter from the other pair walked up.

The pilot still had their mask on and bulky flight gear so I didn't know what was coming. I noted how the pilot was shorter than me though that was normal since I was five eleven, abnormally tall for pilots. Most pilots were usually under five nine. I was the exception along with Alvin. Did you know he had to have his planes specially designed to fit him? Anyway back to the moment. The officer noticed the pilot walk up and he perked up a bit. "Ah, Nagase, you did great as usual. Don't let the loss get you down, this guy is one of the best dogfighters in training." I looked at the officer and raised a brow in confusion. He had never complemented me before this.

The pilot sighed and pulled off the helmet. My eyes widened when the person under the helmet was not male but a woman. A woman with soft kind features who looked like she couldn't hurt a fly. You may have heard that line before. She had the biggest most amazing eyes I had ever seen. Her small pink lips opened for a fraction of a second before she tightened them in her effort to glare at me. She may have had a soft, sweet face but she could turn it into a glare that would make Colonel Perrault cry. Still, I let my gaze wonder over her face in amazement. Would you believe that she was the first girl I had ever taken the time to actually admire? Well, admire her looks that is, face wise.

But her soft features left as she glared at the officer then me. "I guess I didn't do great enough." She said sourly. I tilted my head at her hostility. It seemed like she was on guard due to her being, well, a her. She looked back at me and her face turned into confusion. She was looking at me the way I looked at her until something changed. She was staring into my eyes with a perplexed look. I then remembered my distinct eyes and scowled deeply.

"Good fight." I said angrily. I didn't like how I was acting and wanted to get out of that room. I extended my hand to shake hers expecting her to refuse.

I was surprised when her eyes hardened into a glare to match my own. She thrust her hand forward and we gave a bitter handshake. We still interlocked hands as a small smirk came to her lips. "Next time you won't get so lucky." She said.

I looked at her shocked then removed my hand, roughly, and stormed off. I went off to my quarters to let my anger cool and I went back over that moment. Usually no one would get me all riled up like that but she was different. The way her soft innocent features conflicted with her harsh attitude got to me. The only thing I could compare it to is if I were to become some sort of emotional sap mixed in with my demon appearance.

Those of you who know the story shut up, it is not foreshadowing. Maybe…

She had the looks of an innocent girl yet she could turn her face into a scowl that would scare off most men. She even stared back at me and was not intimidated in the slightest. Lastly, she shook my hand and even squeezed it with great strength. I could tell she was a fighter and that she didn't take anything from anyone. And from then on she had a little respect from me.

That, and my curiosity.

* * *

 _Kei Nagase_

I remember that day.

I had grown up in a family of military. My father was an officer in the army and my mother was a pilot as well. They both had retired by the time I was fourteen and expressed their dislike for me to join the military. But I defied them and strived to become a pilot.

I had always found peace in the sky. Even in battle there was harmony in the way of flying. He taught me that.

I had entered the Air Force training and was met with mixed feelings. People always looked down on me because I was a girl or they looked at me too much because I was a girl. I had something to prove and so I did. I had developed a harsh personality due to the excessive attention I got. If anyone was going to be my friend or at least be around me than they had to get through my strong defense.

So far none had. I was constantly reminded how I was good to look at but impossible to be around. I liked to keep it that way. I wasn't looking for some wannabe tough guy to tell me sweet nothings so I would give the cold shoulder to all that tried. I guess it worked because after months at the academy I was left alone.

Though I did have something to prove. That beneath the sweet looks and tough personality that I could be a great pilot. And I proved just that. On almost every test I was placed at the top. That is except for the flight simulation and real flight tests. There was one name that was always above mine on those. Blaze. It confused me because on all the other tests he was dead last.

I had yet to fly against, or even with, him yet until that day.

I was angry as I exited the simulator. Frustrated that he had beaten me. Well, by a couple milliseconds. He did crash into my already wasted plane. In my mind I had taken him down, no matter what he said.

I was about to take off my helmet when I saw the other two pilots approach the training officer. I smirked and kept my helmet on, thinking this would be funny. When I walked up I noticed the scolding that the one in front was getting. That must have been Blaze. I heard how most of the officers never really liked him.

When I walked up the officer saw me and tried to give me praise. Underneath my helmet I was disgusted. Most officers did that since I was a girl and they had some weird fantasy or whatever.

I sighed and took off my helmet shaking my hair out a little. When I opened my eyes I saw the faint expression of surprise on Blaze. I turned to the officer and frowned. "I guess I didn't do great enough." I said. I was pissed that I had lost and the fact he was giving me false praise. It was worse than a lecture.

I turned to Blaze and really looked at him the first time. He was five eleven, a little tall for pilots, his face was hard from him scowling all the time. His jet hair was a normal length for men and it was in a perfect mess look slanted over to one side, looking like he kept it up with gel but it wasn't greasy. But the most notable thing about him was the eyes. His eyes were bright red like the color of a hot flame or a cherry on a cigarette. I guess I was staring for a while because his scowl became deeper. I guess he didn't like people staring at his eyes. I could sympathize with that.

"Good fight," he said in a way that meant he didn't think it was a good fight. I saw the fire in his glare and I returned it full force. He had his hand outstretched for a handshake which I grabbed quickly. I squeezed his hand and was disappointed when he didn't even flinch.

Then I let a small smirk form on my lips. "Next time you won't be so lucky." He was stunned by my blatant insult and withdrew his hand. He quickly turned and stormed off.

I tilted my head as he left. It was weird for him not to gawk or say smart remark. To be honest I was used to that sort of thing. And the assumption I made that day was, in fact, correct. He was not angry at me for being a woman but angry at himself for losing to anyone. And I noticed he did stare at me. But not in the way I thought at the time. He stared at me in confusion and interest. Like I was a puzzle to him. For the longest time I thought he had just stared at me like the others and it was what fueled or little rivalry during our time training. I found that our little meeting left a lot unsaid but perhaps that was for the best.

* * *

 _Blaze,_

Then there was him.

A couple months had passed by since that small interaction I had barely seen Nagase. Which didn't matter to me at the time. In my mind she was a good pilot but she was probably too hard on herself, wanting to best everyone else like she had something to prove. Since that day we both went neck and neck with each other in every category. It was like we were top class rivals. Actually, because of her I shot to the top, or second place, in all aspects of the training next to her. We were both top class and everyone knew it. No one could touch us. We were our only competition.

Anyway I had been in the mess hall eating lunch in the dark corner of the room and alone, as usual. I had overheard that everyone was going out to a local bar to celebrate the small week leave we had.

I didn't have any plans but I wasn't going to go to some bar. So I was going to probably going to hang back as usual. That was until him…

I hear movement to the side of me and look over. Big bad boy Alvin H. Davenport had decided to grace me with his presence. Alvin had a tendency to shoot his mouth off when he felt something shouldn't be going on. It wouldn't even have to be about him. If someone was being unfairly treated by an officer Alvin would be the first to voice his opinion, quite loudly too.

He was tall and had the natural shape of a body builder. His face reminded me a little of Elvis Presley, the hair too. But one thing I liked instantly about him was the fact he never said anything about my eyes. Because of that I could listen to him all he wanted to talk.

Which is why he always hung around me. After the wingman simulation he always came to me for tips on combat maneuvers and strategies. I didn't mind giving advice since he was almost kicked out several times. Other people often told him off for hanging around me, that it was bad luck or something. But I will quote him on this one. "Man, I don't give a damn what anyone says!" Classic.

"Blaze, can you stand this shit they feed us?" Alvin went off. He had the uncanny ability to complain about everything. He could make you depressed on a bright sunny day, his true talent.

"It's alright." I said simply. Continuing my meal.

"Yeah whatever," he said. "Did you hear about the party at the bar all the trainees are having?" He said picking at his food with his fork.

"A little." I said not looking in his direction.

"Yeah they didn't say anything directly to me either." He said leaning back. That struck me as odd because he seemed like the guy you always want to make the party go. "Bunch of jackasses." He muttered looking around. A smug grin crossed his lips and he leaned in close to me. "We should totally go and crash it."

I stopped eating and turned to look at him. "Why would I want to do that?"

His grin only got bigger. "What got something better to do?" I frowned and looked away. "Don't tell me it wouldn't be fun to just drop in and get hammered?"

The image didn't seem appealing to me but I figured that I did have nothing else better to do so what the hell? "Alright whatever."

Alvin blinked at me. "What, you serious? Damn, and here I had a list of ways to try and convince you." That was when he took out a literal list of things on a piece of paper. "I was gonna start off with showing those assholes who can really party and then final close with Nagase would be there." He said shoving the list in his pocket.

I scowled at him as he simply smiled. "Why the hell would that matter?"

Alvin laughed. "Well because that is the only female you really talked to, so unless you got a girl back home than I would say that you gotta go for the one that catches your eyes." He said looking across the room to see her at a table with other pilots.

I, however, ignored his suggestive action and looked down at my plate. "She is nothing more than another pilot in our group. That and my only competition."

He looked back at me. "Really? Sweet, then I can go for her." He said putting on a cocky smile.

I suppressed a laugh. "Yeah you wouldn't get a within a foot of her without being taken out by her fist."

"Yeah I guess you're right. Eh, whatever."

Later that night we went to the bar and everyone was pretty much shocked to see us. Well that and Alvin insisted that we wear leather jackets. We looked like a 50's movie in real life. At least Alvin did with his neatly combed hair. Alvin went off to talk to someone and I found my way to the bar. After an hour, and two beers, Alvin came back over with a giant wad of cash.

"Blaze man look what I won in a game of poker!" He said gloatingly. Funny thing about Alvin was that he was good at darts of all things. But then he couldn't hit anything in the air even with his radar. I never did quite get that.

"What are you gonna do with that?" I humored him a little.

His smirk was big as he threw the cash down on the table. "This. Bartender, keep giving us shots until this cash runs out."

The bartender quickly came up with a giant bottle and two shot glasses. Alvin took off the cap and poured two shots. He handed me one and grabbed one for himself. "Bottoms up." He quickly took the shot and downed it like nothing. He then stared at me waiting.

I looked from him to the small glass in my hand. I sighed then held it up. "Bottoms up." I repeated throwing my head back. I felt the liquid run down my throat and it burned. I wiped my mouth and coughed a little.

"Whoa Blaze, you're first shot?" Alvin asked already pouring another round.

"Yes, actually." I said reaching out for my glass.

Another hour passed and another ten shots and we found ourselves in a table at the back corner and in a drunken stupor.

"…and she broke my heart man! Totally ripped it out." Alvin went on about his high school girlfriend. I was listening while trying to keep my head straight.

"That's the second time I heard that story. But you're right, girls can be messed up." I said taking another shot. I lost count after that one.

Alvin laughed and reach for the bottle. "Yeah dude most were. Then again I don't have the best taste in women." He frowned when he found the bottle was completely empty. "Damn, well I will grab another bottle." He said trying to stand up and walk ever so slowly to the bar.

I sat and tried to find a bearing but found nothing. This was the first time I had gotten drunk in my life and it felt pretty damn good. Besides all the weird thoughts racing through my mind and the fact that I couldn't focus worth a damn. I had barely registered the person that sat down next to me by the time she started talking.

"Blaze right?" The sound of her voice made me sober up a little. Not really.

"Yeah?" I said trying my best to not look drunk. I sat up and smoothed out my wrinkled shirt. I looked over to see Nagase sitting next to me. She was wearing some normal attire just a hoodie with the Air Force insignia on it and a pair of jeans. I looked at her face and she seemed slightly flushed. Must have been drinking too. "Nagase, the only pilot to take me down. Even if it was your plane." I failed at not looking drunk. I said that mostly slurring while I waved an empty glass around in the air.

"Oh so you can finally admit it." She could have been joking, or not. I was seeing two of her at that point. One looked angry and one looked happy.

"I admit that you know how to position your plane after you got shot down. That's all." I said attempting to take another shot but remembered there was nothing in my glass. I put it down and reminded myself it was empty.

She tried to glare at me but her eyes showed the humor in them. I think. "Well I did take you out."

I laughed at that. It was an honest laugh too and it felt good. "Because of physics." I pointed out.

"Well yes but that aside it was a tie." She said giving a small smile.

I couldn't resist the urge to argue with that. "If I hadn't shot you down first."

Her smile didn't waiver. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

I found myself wanting to admit something to her but I didn't know why. Maybe it was the drinks again. I looked down at the ground and rubbed the back of my head. "Hey Nagase, I've noticed you're the only girl in our training group."

That was when the Nagase on the left glared at me. Or both of her glared at me. I don't remember, I was seeing two of her. "So?" I may have hit a touchy subject. But that meant she was strong about it. Another admiring quality.

"So, you sure know how to make all the boys here cry." I laughed a little at my own joke but saw her confusion through all those bright lights. I swear it was like someone brought the sun in that bar. Too bright. "I mean you can kick all their asses in the air or on the ground. Bet they don't take that too kindly."

Her lips twitched until her glare was gone and replaced by another small smile. "I suppose. I'm not one to pay attention to other pilots though." She said keeping her calm tone. Her voice sounded so soft too.

"That's good. You're better than they are. All of them. You have more of a passion for flying. I've seen it." Okay so the drinks made me reveal that I notice her a lot more than I let on. But hell, she was my only true competition here.

"What?" She said not quite getting what I was saying. I'm not sure if I understood it at the time.

"You fly perfectly. Everything is perfected and smooth. No jumpy movements or overcorrected turns. You are by far the best pilot I have seen. Well besides myself. I don't think you could ever beat me in the combat simulation." I was still kinda there so when I realized what I said I turned my head away from her and scowled again. I was revealing too much.

A long silence occurred and I couldn't see that she was thinking hard on what I had said. I was too busy trying to control my senses and get back my sanity. That was it no more drinks. I turn into the opposite of what I really am. After a while I heard her speak up. "Well, thanks. I guess."

I turned to her and blinked trying to see her clearly. "Don't mention it."

She was about to say something when a commotion occurred at the other side of the bar. I looked over to see Alvin in the middle of it. I shook my head and stood up. "Sorry Nagase, but I got to go see what's up." She nodded but didn't say a word.

I walked over to see Alvin surrounded by a few other trainee pilots. One I recognized as someone Alvin constantly quarreled with. This was not going to be good. "You know you've got a real mouth on you Davenport. If you're not careful it will get you into a situation that you can't get out of." He said. Alvin just smirked at him.

"Hey at least I can put actions behind my words. All you guys just act like you're back in high school with all you're gossiping like a couple of cheerleaders." He turned to another one. "Didn't know you girls can be out on a school night. Does your dad know you guys are out late?"

Oh no. Alvin was getting deeper. I made my way to stand next to him. "Hey guys back off." I said standing in between Alvin and the other pilots.

"Yeah you heard the man back off." Alvin assisted. I looked at him and frowned.

"Yeah watch out guys he brought back up. We're scared now." One said feigning fear. Oh these guys were going to get it.

"Why don't you come over here and then you'll be scared." Alvin said taking a step forward. I held up my hand and pushed him back a bit. I thought I could still avoid this from happening.

"Why don't you shut your mouth Chopper?" One guy said.

Alvin and I stopped and looked at each other. We looked back at the guy who said that. "Chopper? What was that supposed to be an insult?" He said laughing. He laughed.

"I've had enough of your stuff Davenport!" The other said as he began going at Alvin. I stepped in front and the guy grabbed my shoulder and pushed me out of the way. I was still drunk and didn't anticipate this so I flew into another guy who pushed me off him and threw his fist in my face. Then it was over. I saw red, blood red.

I recovered quick and swung across my body hitting him square in the jaw. The guy was huge too, he must have been six foot three, but he dropped just like that. Alvin saw this and advanced on the guy that was coming at him and started swinging. And I have to admit, for his size he had quick punches.

It turned into a full brawl. It was Alvin and me against five, not including the guy I knocked out in one hit. It started turning ugly as I had taken out another and I had one on the ground and kept smashing my fist into his face. Someone started to grab me from behind and yelled my name. I barely registered it until that same person grabbed my shoulder hard and planted a fist on my cheek. I fell over from the blind sided blow but jumped back up to see that it was Nagase. "What the hell was that for?" I asked rubbing my cheek.

"Do you want to get thrown out of the academy? The bartender call the cops and they're on their way. Go and I'll cover for you." She said giving me a hard look.

My anger started to slowly release and I looked over at Alvin. He was currently fighting his second guy as the first was on the ground with a broken nose most likely. I looked back at Nagase and gave her a nod. She returned it so she knew I was thanking her.

Still to this day I don't know why she helped me out. She could have just let the cops get us and then I would have been kicked out of the academy and she wouldn't have to worry about competing with me. At the time it made even less sense. Why would she help me of all people out? It was not like I deserved it. I haven't done anything worthy of being saved by her. And that meant all the times in the future too.

I rushed over to Alvin and stopped the fight he was currently in. "We gotta go. Cops are coming." I told him quickly. The guy he was fighting heard that and quickly bolted out. Alvin looked unsatisfied but turned back to me.

"Alright let's head out the back." He said rushing out. I quickly followed.

We went outside into the freezing cold and ran down the street until we were out of breath. We sat on a bench waiting for a cab Alvin had called for. We were still a little drunk and laughing about the fight.

"Yeah man he got a few good hits in before I dropped him." Alvin said wiping the blood from his jaw. He had a cut lip a swollen eye and a big bruise on his cheek. I had gotten pretty beaten up as well. My eye was hurting, and would probably be black tomorrow, a fat lip and a big cut on my cheek from Nagase. Damn she could hit. "But hey we won the fight!" He said proudly.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Hey you're pretty quick with your fists." I said leaning back. "And your mouth." I added.

"That's what everybody says." He laughed. He looked at his swollen knuckles. "I just love talking you know? When someone else isn't then I guess I will." He let out a sigh. "I just hate silence."

I looked at him for a moment before nodding. "Good, because I'm not one for talking."

He looked at me and grinned. "See, we were destined to be friends."

I smiled. "Yeah, even if we get kicked out now."

He frowned and nudged me. "Come on Blaze, nobody is gonna tell on us. We're cool." He said.

A moment of silence passed and it was only a matter of time until he broke it.

And he did. "Chopper? Was that really all they could come up with?"

"I guess, they didn't do a whole lot of thinking tonight."

"Yeah, they should have never crossed us." He said.

"I suppose."

"But what do you think about that name? Seriously, Chopper, wouldn't be a bad call sign."

I turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "Call sign? What are you talking about?"

"You know, when we get our wings and are assigned to a squadron we get call signs in place of our names. What's yours gonna be?"

I shrugged. I hadn't really thought about that. "Blaze I suppose. It's already a nickname in its own right and I don't really liked to be called by anything else."

"That's a good one. Blaze is a lucky name. Rare, but lucky."

"Whatever you say." I looked back out at the road and smirked. "Chopper."

But he smiled and nodded. "Chopper, I like it. Hey Blaze call me Chopper from now on." He said as he extended his hand to me.

I looked at it then him and smiled. "Alright Chopper." I shook his hand.

From then on me and Alvin, or Chopper, were friends. I never really had a friend growing up and I always needed to watch my own back but now, I knew he had my back and I would have his.

That was how I met them.

That is the beginning of our story.

* * *

Fin.

A/N: So this chapter was backstory mostly. It was really hard for me to craft a character we all know nothing about. But from thinking gamewise I started with Blaze's personality. Which is he is smart but does not agree with those in command of him. He probably did have a thick wall over himself that took time for the squad to break through but judging from the game Chopper really gets along with Blaze in the first missions so I thought it would be fun for the two to have a history dating back to training. Also through the game Blaze seems to be emotionally unattached to everyone but his squad, then again he doesn't talk.

Oh and yeah if you didn't guess there may be a future pairing. But don't worry it won't happen for a loooooooooooooooooooong time. In the meantime Edge can't really count as Blaze's friend, the two will share a complex relationship er, friendship in the beginning that only solidifies when Blaze is captain or before that. Until then it will be sort of respect out of a rivalry sort of thing. I will explain later.

And I thought it be best for Blaze's name to be well Blaze. After all it fits and his red eyes are an added bonus to his personality and past and to his demon status. As for Blaze's past I needed it to be… tragic. As for his meet with Cipher I find some fics that involve his direct bloodline relationship with Cipher, not believable. So I had a small meet between the two Aces of Aces very motivating for Blaze. Basically a small cameo for him if you squint hard enough. Blaze's last name is a reference to the guardian angel Michael as I see Blaze as a contrast of a guardian angel and a demon. If you don't like his back story or anything about Blaze please again let me know in the kindest way possible. There is a difference between constructive criticism and insulting. Oh, and if you didn't know I said that his hair was jet which means black. People that say jet black hair are basically calling it black black hair so I dropped it and just put jet. So his hair is black or jet. You learn something new everyday.

And always reviews are appreciated and welcome because if you don't let me know if it's good or bad I don't know how to fix it or leave it as is. Thank you for reading and be ready for the next chapter.


	2. Beneath Solid Wings

A/N: Yes, chapter 2! Alright all of you ready for the next installment? Also I apologize for the long time between chapters but if you noticed each chapter is long so hopefully that makes up for it.

So a couple of you said that I made Blaze out to be not relatable. And for this I apologize. That one is on me, sorry. Yes, there are holes in his backstory but they are there for a reason and I do plan on giving out full details in due time. So please just know that everything about him will be explained. And as for the distinctions between him and an actual demon, look Blaze doesn't see himself as one. Like I said in chapter 1 he doesn't care about any of that. He just knows that people fear him and see him as this living evil. As for Blaze, he could care less about that. He doesn't actually see himself as a demon.

Thank you to those that reviewed and if you have any more questions or comments please leave them I am more than happy to answer!

Anyway let's just jump right in.

Disclaimer: Chapter 1

Beneath Solid Wings

August 27, 2010

It was an important date for that is the day we were shipped off to Sand Island base. For the past months all of the trainees were cut out or shaped into real fighter pilots. Only a few of us had graduated. And those of us that did were sent to this base, the edge of the world for Osea. It was that speck on the map that was closed off to civilians and the most boring place in the universe or so Chopper says.

We were all given the rank of Second Lieutenant and given our wings to fly. It was the greatest moment of my life, then again there was really nothing to top it. I was glad to see that Nagase was the best in our group and was honored as such. She had beaten me on all the written stuff and some training exercises, but never at the combat situations. I was equally glad to see her on the flight to Sand Island. It meant there would be some competition when we fought the enemy. Not that I was expecting there would be an enemy. But with her there I expected competition in anything we did.

Once we arrived we were all given rooms and most of us found out we would have to share rooms, something that we didn't have at Heierlark. Chopper voiced this to the commanding officer one Colonel Perrault. Chopper was chewed out and told to shut up, something he later grumbled to me about.

After that we were given a brief tour by Captain Hamilton. He seemed like a generally nice guy but I never did trust nice guys. Still don't. Anyway he showed us the briefing room, the mess hall, a few hangers, and finally the rec room. Finally he showed us off to our rooms where we got numbers for our rooms.

"Hey Blaze, what number did you get?" Chopper questioned me as he walked over, holding his duffle bag over his back. I looked at my number.

"Twenty seven." I said.

"Aw man, I got seventeen. Oh well, there goes getting a cool roommate." He grumbled. We began walking down the hallways to our rooms.

Chopper and I shared an unusual friendship. While he was the loudmouth quick tempered brash type of guy I was quiet quick thinking calm type. But our personalities didn't conflict so we got along great.

Throughout our months at Heierlark we had each other's back. And after that night at the bar nobody messed with us. He made sure nobody gawked at the irregular pigmentation of my eyes and I made sure no one tried to make Chopper stop talking. There were a few incidents where he got into an argument with some other pilots but I talked him down reminding him that knocking the guy out wasn't worth getting kicked out. Chopper turned out to be a better fighter pilot as well. He may talk a lot but he always listened when he needed pointers or tips. I helped him perfect his flying abilities while he tried, key word is tried, to get me to talk more.

Through our vast differences we did relate on one thing besides flying. Our love for music. One time I let it slip that I liked Rock and he would never leave it be. Almost every conversation ended with my opinion on a particular song and he would go on and on about it. Didn't bother me though.

After that night I didn't quite see Nagase as often. Granted we were both passionate on becoming pilots which involved little time in socializing so there was no time. She was able to best me in flying maneuvers and come close in combat situations. I knew that she would quickly rise up to be a squadron leader soon.

We had talked a few times but not too long and never enough. Besides Chopper, she was the only one I respected enough to talk to. But it wasn't a friendship, it was a rivalry due to us being the best in our group. Each time I beat her, she was angry with herself. And each time she beat me, I was angry with myself. We still didn't get along very well and I thought she would just be another passing face in the Air Force. But I was glad to see that there was someone else I knew out here.

Chopper went into his room and waved me off. I continued down the hall until I reached twenty seven. I entered to find it vacant. I shrugged and threw my bag on the top bunk. I then looked over and flopped down on the couch in the room. After seventeen hours of sitting in a plane without controlling it I was exhausted. I sat there and waited for my bunkmate to arrive.

After an hour I saw that I was one of the lucky ones that wasn't going to have to have a bunkmate. I let out a sigh and stood up walking over to the window. I looked out to see the sun setting. It was truly a beautiful sight on the island. This island seemed to be too peaceful to be a military base, but looks can be deceiving.

I knew I was very tired but I couldn't sleep. Since I was a kid I was diagnosed with insomnia and it was a real bitch, especially when your job was being a pilot. I grumbled to myself and walked out the door. The hallway was clear and quiet. My guess was that everyone was asleep due to jet lag.

I walked out of the barracks and out onto the airfield. I looked down it and saw it extend out to the ocean. The mixture of salt and jet fuel filled my nostrils as I inhaled. I turned my gaze and saw that a hanger door was opened revealing an F-5. I looked over with interest and walked over. As I went to step inside the hanger a voice called out.

"Trainees shouldn't be inside the hanger." I looked over to see a man looking over the inside of another F-5 he had taken apart. I was guessing he was a mechanic.

"I am Second Lieutenant Blaze Michael sir, stationed at Sand Island today." I said.

The mechanic nodded and turned to me. He grabbed a rag and wiped his greasy hands. "Yeah I know, and I said trainees shouldn't be here." He walked over to me.

I nodded "I know I was just admiring your plane." I said looking over at the plane. "It seems to be well maintained."

He looked from me to the plane. "Well I could understand that. And between you and me I don't follow rules well either." He said turning around to sit on a bench that was in front of the plane. "So trainee what did you say your name was?" He asked not looking back at me.

"Blaze Michael, sir."

He glanced back and smiled slightly. "Blaze huh? Nice eyes to go along with the name Blaze." I frowned. "My name is Peter Beagle but you could just call me Pops. And save the sir stuff for people who give a damn."

I smiled a bit and looked at the plane once more. "Alright Pops. Is this what we are flying? Standard issued F-5 Tigersharks?"

"That would be them. They aren't very fast or mobile but they are excellent for close combat situations. They can match any plane in a dogfight." He said with confidence.

I nodded silently and then turned to him. "Are you the mechanic?" I questioned.

"Yep, I haven't flown in a squadron in years. Now I just repair and maintain the planes for the real pilots."

"You used to be a pilot?" I asked walking over and standing near the bench.

"Yep, but that was a long time ago." He let out a deep sigh. "It's time for you guys to defend the skies and time for us old guys to stay on the ground." His eyes shifted to the ground. "By the way Blaze, I've heard about you." I raised a brow in questioning and he turned to face me. "You caused quite a bit of controversy during your training."

He didn't sound like he was accusing me but I glared at him all the same. "I don't remember causing problems."

He laughed and looked away. "No I was talking about your skill." I dropped my glare and looked at him confused. "You were the greatest trainee in combat situations but in every other category you were one of the lowest. I think you did that on purpose." He looked at me out of the corner of his eye and smirked.

"So what if I did? I didn't need more attention than I was already getting." I admitted.

"Smart, but don't worry, only the right people know your little secret of not trying on some things." He assured me. "But you better get some rest, tomorrow is when the fun begins." He said standing up. He extended his half greased hand to me. "I look forward to having you here Blaze."

I took a step forward and shook his hand. "Thanks… Pops." I turned and walked in the other direction. He seemed like he knew a lot more than he let on but I knew he was honest. It seemed like we would get along.

The next day the entire squad was told to get in our flight suits and meet in the briefing room. I walked in to find the room full of first time pilots, most from Heierlark. I looked around and saw Chopper in the back waving towards me. I nodded slightly and took the open seat he had saved for me.

I looked around at all the other pilots and saw that most were nervous, either tapping their feet rapidly or distracting themselves by talking to other pilots. Everyone save Chopper that is, he just always talked.

"Our first true flight Blaze, how do you feel?" He asked, casually sitting in his chair. He looked like he didn't have a care in the world.

"I'm fine." I said. In truth, it didn't matter to me. First flight second flight, it was all the same. Back when we were training our flights were short and limited to testing our abilities, I never got enough satisfaction from it.

"Yeah you always say that." He said with a grin on his face.

Everyone had seemed to be in the room as three other pilots came in. Two were around my height but seemed to be barely older than the rest of us. They were both talking to each other and smiling like it was another day at the office. The third however, was different. He walked in with a scowl to match his rugged appearance. He was taller than the other two and looked much older. And when you looked at him you could see the experience in his eyes.

"Alright quiet down everyone." One of the younger pilots said. "I am Captain Baker, I will be your training officer and assistant flight lead. Along with Captain Svenson," the other young captain nodded. "And Captain Bartlett, he is the squadron leader." Captain Baker motioned to the older captain. Captain Bartlett had taken a seat behind the other two and leaned back, zoning out of the meeting.

"We will be taking you out on a number of sorties, now most of these will just be patrols and recon missions but everyone needs to always be on alert." He continued his lecture.

"If you don't then forget about coming back." Everyone's heads snapped in the direction of Captain Bartlett. He had his head back and was staring numbly at the ceiling but everyone had heard him.

"Don't mind the Captain he is just worried about losing more pilots is all." Baker said as he turned and walked back a bit. The other captain, Captain Svenson, took a step forward and was holding a clipboard.

"There are twenty of you here but our squad is only looking for ten so most of you will be transferred out by the end of the month." He looked up from his clipboard and held up a hand. "Don't worry it has nothing to do with your skills of a pilot but with where you will fit in better at." He assured everyone.

Then it was a long boring talk of what to do in the air, watch out for your wingman and squad, and most importantly, never disobey orders. I ignored that last part.

We went out to our planes and everyone was pretty excited, save for me. "Yo Blaze, I think this is the start of our beautiful time together in the air." Chopper said walking fairly quickly. Our planes were some of the last few docked back in the hanger. Across the airfield I saw a couple of planes already taking off. We had to shout over the loud noises.

"Don't get too excited, we might not even be staying here."

Chopper's grin fell and he looked over at me. "You always have to be a damn pessimist don't ya?"

I shrugged as we kept walking. "Just pointing out the obvious. By the way, how in the hell did you get to be my wingman?"

At the end of the meeting the captains announced who was paired up with who. I wondered why Chopper had that stupid grin on his face.

"I may or may not have requested it. Gotta have each other's backs right?" He said with a wide grin as he slapped me on the back.

I just rolled my eyes and kept walking. It was going to be a long next couple of weeks. I had nothing against being Chopper's wingman but I didn't want to be thrown in the same boat with him if he shot his mouth off at one of the captains.

We both went to our separate planes and I quickly climbed in. I sat in the seat and looked over the controls. In my mind I was home. It was an odd thing to think about but at the time I knew that I didn't belong anywhere else. I didn't realize why until much later.

At first I just wanted to be a pilot to follow in the footsteps of that famed man Cipher. But as I got older and dreams turned into realities I found that my ambition changed. I felt at peace inside of a plane. After everything in my life I found that in a jet, none of that mattered. It was me, my plane, and the sky. It was the closest thing to being at ease that I had ever felt in my life.

I shook my head and focused back at the task at hand. I put my helmet on and pushed the black visor down. I quickly did my little ritual with Cipher's dog tags and focused. I went over the preflight checks and got the plane rolling onto the airfield. After a while I was finally able to take off.

The rush of taking off never got old to me. I loved the feeling of speeding down the runway and pulling off into the clouds. Then the rush of flying kicked in and I felt like a new man. It was like the true me came out in the cockpit and took over. Like I was only truly awake when I was flying.

I flew around and waited for Chopper to come up next to me. We then set out with the rest of the squadron and followed the captains.

I could tell you about the boring flight we endured of going back over the basics and simple flight maneuvers but it is pointless.

Anyway, after we landed we were told that we were going to be split into groups while the military brass sorted out which pilots were going where. I was in group B along with Chopper and four others. We had a schedule for when we would fly up or do meet in the briefing room.

All in all it was a boring next couple of weeks.

It wasn't until September 22 that everything changed.

Up until that point many pilots found themselves switched to a different base or squadron until only eleven of the rookies remained in the 108th tactical squadron. Chopper and I found ourselves still with the squadron and I saw that Nagase was there as well.

She and I barely talked except from the occasional greeting she gave me. I barely returned the gesture on most of the time, I hope she didn't take it bad, I just wasn't a social person.

The afternoon on that day Chopper and I were out at the hanger talking with Pops. Over the weeks we had gotten along with the old pilot and talked a few with him. Chopper was more interested in the dog, Kirk. Chopper kept rambling on about how he always wanted a dog but his parents never got him one.

"I don't understand what the big fuss is about." Chopper said throwing a tennis ball for Kirk to go fetch. "It wasn't like you messed up that bad."

He was talking about the latest incident. When we were coming back from a regular patrol my landing gear had failed and I made a spectacular landing without it. The plane wasn't left in such spectacular shape so the military brass came down hard on me.

"Yeah but I did cost them one of their precious planes." I said in a dull tone. I was standing next to Chopper looking out at the sea near the runway. I never was one for beautiful landscapes but I suppose it was nice.

"Yeah that will get them worked up." Pops said as he kept working on my plane. It was literally thrashed. The entire bottom was torn up and ripped to shreds, I was smart enough to dump all my missiles into the ocean first, and the tailfin was broken as well. The engine was also banged up making the plane almost unfixable, if it weren't for Pops.

"Yeah well sue me." I said angrily.

"The plane doesn't matter," Chopper and I looked over to see Captain Bartlett walking, more like stomping, over towards us. "It's getting the pilots back that's important."

We quickly stood at attention and saluted the captain. He made a disgusted face and shook his head. "Save the saluting for someone who gives a damn." He said sitting down on the bench. "You gotta learn that the military brass only cares about dollar bills. Anyone who doesn't is still in the line of fire during a war."

"Yes sir." I said in a low tone. Chopper turned his attention back to the dog and they resumed their game of fetch.

"Relax kid, I ain't here to scold you like some prick school teacher." He said looking at me. "Nice pair eyes you got. It matches your fiery demeanor."

During the last few weeks I got more attention from my eyes than my flying. When the other two captains noticed they never did like to look in my eyes again. But Captain Bartlett was unfazed. He was always there to give a helping hand but not after he hounded you for what you did wrong in the air. Whenever I tried to glare at him he glared back with a look that probably matched mine. Captain Bartlett was the most vocal out of the three captains. He reminded me a bit of Chopper, only the captain always knew what he was saying.

Captain Bartlett was the first to yell at you if you did something wrong and the last to praise you on your flying skills. His experience was probably what made him that way. But he was the captain that gained my respect. His unorthodox ways of training us made him famed but hated by some. If you weren't cut out to be in his squadron than he would tell you. I found that those he did say that to were transferred out just as quick. On the ground he didn't care what you did but as soon as you entered a plane and flew in his squadron you would do as he said or he would take you down himself.

He was my favorite for those reasons and more. The only way you would gain his respect is if you listened to him and did the right thing in the air and on the ground. I could see that he had no respect for the other two captains but he did not hate them either. He often started referring to a few of us as nuggets. His way of naming the rookies that he had trained personally.

I have to say now that if it wasn't for Captain Bartlett, we probably wouldn't have made it.

"Blaze, there is another reason I came looking for you." The captain said in a low tone. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded paper handing it to me. I reached out and took it. My eyes went to the paper as I unfolded it. I looked to see the Osean Air Force Seal in the top right hand corner. "They want to reassign you." He said looking at the ground.

I looked at him, confusion on my face. "It has partly to do with your crash today and all to the fact that they found out about your background."

I nodded numbly. "So you know sir?"

Captain Bartlett leaned back and gave me a dumb look. "Do you think I give a shit what kind of history, or race, my pilots are? It is the flying ability I'm interested in and Blaze you've got a lot of it." He sighed and stood up. "I really want you for my squadron Blaze, you're a helluva pilot and would make a pretty damn good squadron leader."

I shook my head. "No sir, I don't think I ever want to be a squadron leader."

The captain looked at me curiously and took a step forward. "You afraid of that Blaze?"

I narrowed my eyes. "I am not afraid of leading, I just am not fit to be a leader."

He laughed at me and began walking away back the way he came. "We will see about that."

Chopper walked behind me as I watched the captain go. My eyes kept staring after him as Chopper looked at the paper in my hand. "What the hell is this about? They're transferring you?" He said taking the paper.

"I guess so."

* * *

 _Kei Nagase_

It is odd how when you wake up one day and you can tell it will be a bad day than it usually is. On September 23 we were told to meet in the briefing room at 1000 hrs. When we all filed in and the captains started the briefing I noticed that Blaze wasn't in the room.

While I generally didn't keep tabs on Blaze it was hard to not notice him missing. The empty seat near Chopper was a dead giveaway. Over the past several weeks I had seen Blaze here and there around the base. We didn't talk much but I offered him the occasional hello or wave which he did not always return. It didn't bother me too much but I found that the more I saw him the more I wanted to know about him. He was like a walking mystery. I wanted to know why he was so guarded and why he didn't choose to be around everyone else.

I had talked several times with Chopper and he was always a contradiction. He was a loud mouth sure but I could instantly see that he was a big softy. He would talk all big but he would always follow his feelings. I didn't get to know him very well but I found being around him enjoyable.

Then there was Captain Bartlett. He had almost instantly singled out Blaze and I as his favorites. Blaze, because of his skills and determination in the sky. Me? I think because he wanted to know why someone like me wanted to do battle in the air. I had been often reminded that my kind looks, soft voice, and caring personality went against my desire to become a fighter pilot. He always told me that too. He was always finding new ways to motivate me to be a better pilot and it worked. He knew what I needed to hear and wasn't afraid to tell me the truth.

As the weeks went by he became very protective of Blaze and me. He kept us on Sand Island and even requested as having me fly on his wing.

"You've got natural protective instincts Nagase. You were made to watch people's backs." He told me one time. While the other captains wanted to put me in another squadron so that I could become a flight lead he kept me there wanting me to be the one getting everyone's back. I never argued with him on that because I guess I knew it was true.

"Alright we will be going out on another patrol several miles south of the island." Captain Bartlett said sitting in his chair at the front of the room. "Same formation as last time, me in the front while you nuggets stick to Baker and Svenson. Nobody do anything stupid." Captain Bartlett then pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and read it.

"Second Lieutenant Davenport, you won't be flying up today. Your plane had an engine malfunction so you will be grounded this time." He said before crumbling up the paper and throwing it in the garbage can across the room.

"Aw come on man." Chopper complained. He spent the next few minutes grumbling about it.

As we exited I saw Captain Bartlett get approached by a man with a camera. I stopped for a moment while everyone else kept going.

"Captain Bartlett, I am Albert Gennette from the-" The man started.

"Yeah I know who you are." Captain Bartlett interrupted.

Gennette was speechless for a moment before he continued. "Well I was told that I would be going up with you and your squad today. I have all the proper papers if you need to see them." He said holding up a folder.

"Nah it's alright." The captain said waving his hand. "So what are you here for?"

"I came to Sand Island in hopes of getting an interview with you and filming you in the sky along with all your other pilots, if that's alright?"

The captain laughed. "Yeah? Well how about I give you a front seat?" He looked over my way and smirked. "There is a worthy pilot of documenting already. Nagase this is our new personal reporter, he is going to make us all famous." The captain said walking away laughing at his own joke. Gennette paused to look at me. I smiled slightly and gave him a wave. He shook himself out of his stupor and waved back before running to catch up with Captain Bartlett.

I found it odd that a reporter would be here wanting to write something about Captain Bartlett and Sand Island. Weren't we at the edge of the world? Away from all the peace that had consumed the country. It really didn't matter at the time though.

I had always considered the sky as a place of freedom and change. It was the place where everything and everyone were equals. I loved to fly, it was a sign of peace in the world. No matter what happened on the ground the sky would be an even ground for all. The beautiful way that I could just glide through the sky and float like a bird was like poetry for me.

All that was shattered in a moment's notice.

We had barely been in the air for an hour when my alarm went off. AWACS started telling the captains that there was bogeys coming our way.

"Give me a break, I'm babysitting nuggets here." Captain Bartlett complained as our squadron moved to the intercept point.

My heart began to race as I had the sinking feeling that we were about to enter a battle. I listened as Bartlett instructed us to descend away from the enemy's flight path. I wanted to tell the captain that we could help but I held my words. Nobody knew what to do better than Captain Bartlett.

As he and the other captains flew up to take out the enemy I looked at my radar. There was eight enemy planes in my scope. Three against eight, I didn't like the odds. But what help could I be? I was just a rookie, a nugget while they were experienced captains.

I felt something was definitely off though as I watched the captains planes on my radar fly completely past the enemy planes without anything happening. I looked up and didn't see any trace of missiles being fired or anything.

"This is Heartbreak One, AWACS check the radar again because I got nothing on the visuals." Captain Bartlett said.

"Heartbreak One this is AWACS, they're right below you!" I looked ahead to see nine small dots outside my canopy and then my warning systems went off. The enemy had already fired. The radio was full of the other rookie pilots yelling for help or trying to break so I was on my own.

I quickly slammed the stick forward and the nose of my jet dropped sending me into a nose dive, desperately avoiding the missile. I flipped my plane over as the enemy planes screamed past me. The radio was full of other pilots screaming as they were shot down and Bartlett swearing at the command center for screwing up.

I looked at my radar to see two dots come up on my six. I froze in that moment. I didn't even register the warning systems going off that I was locked on. The rush of a real battle drove me over the edge. I was listening to my entire squadron getting shot down as I was about to join them. My mind raced as I didn't know what to do.

"What do I do? What do I do?" I repeated to myself over and over. None of the training I had prepared me for this. I was struck with fear and couldn't move. My breathing ceased as my heart felt like it would explode. I nearly went into shock.

"Nagase!" Captain Bartlett's voice echoed in my head. I snapped out of it and looked at my radar to see his plane coming in. I looked over my shoulder to watch one of his missiles take out one of the planes on my six. The other plane broke off and the captain's plane flew up next to me.

"Get it together and protect my ass!" He yelled at me before pulling off moving to intercept another enemy. That's when I snapped. My battle instincts finally clicked. I felt myself become overwhelmed with anger and I used it.

I followed the captain and we came up behind another plane. "Heartbreak One, Fox two." He said firing another missile and taking out another plane. I looked at the radar to find a plane coming in behind the captain. I turned sharply and went in a circle ending up behind the enemy. My radar locked on and I went to fire the missile. I didn't want to be responsible for taking another person's life. It didn't feel right to play God, even if it was a battle.

"Shoot Nagase!" The captain's voice was angry. He had a right to be. The enemy was right on his tail. I knew it was either the captain or the enemy.

So I fired the missile.

I felt sick. I had just killed another human being. I would have hated myself if it weren't for the sounds of the other rookies getting shot down on the radio. My heart tightened at the fact that it had to come to this but it was too late.

I watched as the missile hit and the plane exploded into a ball of flames. I looked to see the captain's plane turn to go after another enemy and so I followed.

In the end of the battle we had downed all of the planes at the cost of ten of our own. Eight rookies, all but me, and the other two captains. Captain Bartlett and I were the only survivors of the battle.

I had only taken down two planes but covered the captain as he took down four. Captain Baker took down one himself before getting shot down and Captain Svenson took out one but crashed on landing do to the damage his plane received.

After I landed the plane and parked it on the runway I quickly took my helmet off. The whole flight back tears were coming from my eyes. I was disgusted with the whole battle and with myself. I despised myself for taking another's life without remorse and for not acting quickly or well enough to save more lives.

I had a choice to make in those few minutes. I could either dwell on the pain of everything or I could do something to actually make the Captain proud and block out all the emotions. It would leave me feeling very hollow, very… blank. But it would be better than crying over myself. It would make me stronger or break me. So I made a choice, the choice to block everything out.

If only for a moment.

I heard another jet land and I knew it was the captain's. I looked up to see that he landed safely and was pulling his plane into the hanger. I quickly wiped my tears, knowing the captain would yell at me for it. I gathered myself together and tried to look strong, but on the inside I was weak. I was always the one on the team to hold up a strong front but I was the weakest on the inside, at least that's what I thought until…

I got out of the plane and looked out over the sea. It was hard for me to imagine that just a few minutes ago it was alive with the fire and death of battle. I stared for quite a while until I saw the captain and that reporter walk by. I could hear their conversation and the reporter mention how I fought back. I hid my feelings as the captain stopped.

"I couldn't bear to watch." He turned around quickly and pointed his helmet at me. "Nagase you keep flying like that you'll die real soon."

His accusation was probably correct. He was referring to me freezing up the way I did in the beginning but only he and I knew what he meant. He must have known how I was feeling and wanted to get me out of the sinking feeling. It helped a little.

"I won't die sir." I said in a hushed tone but I knew he heard me. I didn't even look in his direction as he walked away.

"Are you sure? You look like you couldn't hurt a fly." He mumbled as he walked off.

I turned my head slightly to see Gennette pointing his camera at me. I knew I looked a little fazed by the battle but I managed to give him some sort of smile. I only smiled because I knew I didn't let the captain down. I felt so very numb, from trying to dull my feelings that it didn't even hurt to smile after all that.

I thought I had turned myself practically cold hearted in an effort to control my emotions during the situation. Looking back it wasn't the right thing to do.

I thought I would be emotionless now.

But I was wrong, when I turned and saw red eyes staring at me…

* * *

 _Earlier that day,_

 _Blaze,_

I was told to report to the base commander's office in the early afternoon for information regarding my transfer. I knew it was only going to be the colonel telling me how happy he was that a fuck up like me was leaving his island. It was going to be a waste of my time.

The rest of the squadron was getting ready to go up on a routine patrol south of Sand Island. I didn't really give it much thought as I was about to leave the island. I had heard that Chopper's plane was experience mechanical problems and I laughed at his luck.

If only I knew that it was his good luck at the time.

I was standing at attention in Colonel Perrault's office thinking about where I would be sent to, if I was still allowed in the Air Force. They were pretty strict when it came to these type of things, or so I had been told. I was broken out of my train of thought when the door burst open and a much disoriented Captain Hamilton stepped in.

"Sorry Blaze, but you're going to have wait a while longer for the colonel." He said quickly before dashing out of the room.

I stood there looking at the door over my shoulder. What could have possibly happened that would have gotten the attention of the Colonel and made Captain Hamilton looked so unorganized?

My answer came when alarms around the base went off. I looked up at the red flashing light in the corner of the colonel's office. I looked around and then quickly went over to the large window behind the colonel's desk. I opened the blinds and looked south where the squadron was.

My eyes widened when I saw various streaks in the sky and small explosions. It was obvious that there was a battle going on and I couldn't help but wonder if our guys were winning. My eyes scanned to try and count the planes but they were too far away. I couldn't help but to think if only I had been up there right now with them, instead of stuck here watching. I felt sick with guilt for not being up with the rest of them in the middle of the action.

I spun around and ran out of the office. There was no point in staying there anyway. I quickly found myself outside looking up into the sky. I was near the tower and right next to the beginning of the runway. I looked on and heard the faint sounds of jet engines and explosions. Then all at once it stopped.

My eyes widened when I saw only two of the captains planes and one sole rookie jet coming my way. It appeared that the squadron was short a couple pilots now. I noticed that one of the captain's planes was damaged and it wobbled during landing. The plane crashed into an explosion of bright flames. The cleanup crew quickly went to work to clear off the runway for the other two planes.

I glanced up at the two planes and saw the number 007 on the side of the rookie jet. Nagase's number. I let out a breath that I didn't even know I was holding. I was glad that at least she had made it, but still the entire squadron was gone save Nagase, Chopper, and Captain Bartlett. I didn't really count myself as still apart of the squadron at the time.

I was standing next to the fence that granted the entrance to the beginning of the runway. I was so focused on watching Nagase's plane that I never heard Chopper come up behind me. "Blaze do you have any idea what's going on?" He asked looking on with me. When I didn't answer he looked over at me and gave me a good shove. I was caught off guard and my instincts kicked in. I quickly turned and grabbed his shoulders forcing him onto the fence with great force. "Hey, hey! It's me." He said holding up his hands.

I relaxed a bit and dropped my glare, releasing my hold of him. He pretended to dust off some invisible debris as he looked over at me. "Damn Blaze, I don't think I was able to sneak up on you before."

"Yeah sorry Chopper." I said returning my gaze to Nagase's plane, which was coming in for the landing.

"Did you hear anything about what happened?" Chopper asked watching her plane as well.

"No, I just ran out here." I said. Nagase brought the plane down in a way that seemed like she wasn't even in a fight. It gracefully touched the ground and glided down the runway. I saw that her plane was more or less undamaged. I didn't wait for Captain Bartlett's plane to land as I started heading down the runway to get in and see her.

"Blaze where you headed?" Chopper asked as I began walking.

"Going to see what happened." He must have guessed that I was going to go talk to Nagase about it because he ran to catch up.

"I'll go too."

We began walking down as everyone in the base was scrambling around trying to figure out what to do. We almost made it to the end of the runway where the planes were at when we got stopped.

"Second Lieutenant Blaze, stop!" The colonel bellowed a few feet away. I looked back to see him glaring at me from under his hat. I cursed under my breath and walked toward him. Chopper stopped for me but didn't go anywhere near the pudgy hot heated colonel.

I didn't particularly hate the colonel but he had no love for me. Of course everyone hated their superior officer but this was different. It was like he knew we all hated him but he didn't care. However, his job as base commander was rightly so, for no one could probably put up with all the bull shit he saw and still be a sane man, more or less.

"Yes sir?" I said saluting him and then standing at attention.

"You were told to report to my office. Funny thing I see you out here when you should be there." He said in a very condescending tone.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as I answered him. "Well sir I was told that you would be a while and thought I would be able to quickly see what was happening around the base."

"So you thought it was alright to skip out on a meeting with a superior officer?" He was baiting me, but he never got the chance to say anything when another officer came running over to us.

"Colonel Perrault! A message from Ocean Air Command." He said thrusting a paper to the colonel. He grumbled and took it. His eyes scanned the paper rather quickly when his face turned into that of confusion and awe. He looked back at the other officer who gave him a single nod.

The colonel turned back to me. "My office at 1800 hrs. If you aren't there I will find you and you won't like anything after that." He didn't wait for my reply as he turned around and began stomping back the way he came talking to the other officer.

Chopper walked over to me after the colonel left. "What the hell was that all about?"

"I don't know, but I got a feeling that he won't be in charge in a few hours." I said. The only thing that makes officers speechless is when a higher ranking officer was about to come down hard on them.

We quickly went back to trying to find Nagase and walked out on the airstrip. I didn't notice I was running until I Chopper was running to catch up. I made it to the area where the planes stopped and saw three figures. I immediately recognized Captain Bartlett and Nagase. The third must have been the military reporter who went along for the ride. Bet he thought he was lucky.

I heard Bartlett mumble something before walking off. Nagase seemed to be looking off in the distance but looked back at the reporter as he flashed a picture. The guy then turned away and followed after Bartlett. I looked from them back to Nagase. She seemed to have noticed me then and her small smile faded. She looked directly into my eyes and started walking towards me.

I was about to say something to her but when she dropped her helmet and ran towards me I took a step back, unsure of what she was doing. I was taken back when she practically jumped me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and forced her face into my chest. I held my arms out to the side and looked around behind her.

If you know anything about Nagase then you know she wasn't crying. She didn't shed a tear, so far as I had seen. She just simply held onto me, very tightly I might add. This was probably the first time I had ever had an embrace. And it was probably the most awkward one ever. I wasn't sure what to do so I stood waiting.

After a moment I was about to say something but she silenced me. "Don't." She said softly. "Don't say anything. Please, just… just a moment." I realized then what she was doing. It had nothing to do with me specifically. If Chopper had seen her first she would have done this to him. Nagase was in shock, more or less. Her rigid posture and pale features when I arrived made that clear. What she wanted wasn't comfort, it was something to feel. To know that she was still alive after the battle.

Most importantly, to know that she could feel again. That it was okay to have emotions and still remain strong in times of fear and death.

Something she taught me much later on.

I looked down at my arms still hanging out. I decided that this would take a while so I started to awkwardly wrap my arms around her. But I was stopped when she roughly pushed herself off of me and stepped back. Nagase slowly looked up into my eyes and frowned. At least she was back to her old self. "Thanks." She said before following after the captain.

I just watched her go with a raised eyebrow. That was odd even for me. Chopper came up beside me and I didn't have to guess to know he saw the whole thing. "So, what was up with that?" He asked.

I just kept staring after where she went. That battle must have been something. Then it occurred to me. I looked over my shoulder to see that only those two made it back from the battle. That was it? The Captain and Nagase? No wonder she was shook up. "They were the only two who lived." I said staring at the captain's plane.

"What? That's it? None of the other Captains? Or the rookies? What the hell happened?" Chopper said looking around.

"That's what we are going to find out." I said walking towards the building.

Chopper was standing still for a moment. "Where are you going?"

"Briefing room." I said walking in that direction Chopper followed but before he could say anything I gave him an explanation. "They need to debrief after each mission and my guess is that they will be in there for a while." I said as we went.

And it was a while. Chopper and I sat outside the briefing room for almost two hours already and Chopper was getting anxious. To tell the truth I was too. I knew what was coming but I didn't want to say anything.

I could only imagine what Nagase was feeling while we waited outside the room. Captain Hamilton and Colonel were in there along with her and the Captain. I wondered if they were getting interrogated by them for what happened. It was probably protocol though. Ten people died and everyone wanted to know why, so they would get there information one way or another.

The feeling of uselessness was uncommon to me and I hated it. No matter where I was I could always control some part of the situation but now, now I could only helplessly sit by. It was worse when I was watching the battle from the ground. It was like being in a war and just sitting in the corner pretending it wasn't happening while you held a gun and the ability to protect others. The desire to jump in a plane and fly up there to help was just as bad as the need to go into that room and find out what the fuck was going on. Yes, I was angry. But most of that anger was directed at myself, the rest, at the people responsible for not letting me go up in the air that day.

I had enough of waiting and stood up to go barging in that room when four figures coming down the hall got my attention. I looked carefully at them to see that the front two were military police, holding fully automatic weapons pointed at the ground. Behind them was a tall man with graying hair and a fully decorated uniform. I looked to see the two gold stars on his collar and I took a step back and saluted. Chopper must have been watching because he jumped up and saluted as well.

The man gave me a nod and followed his escorts into the briefing room. The man behind him though had the most of my attention. He did not wear anything that was normal to military personal. He was a middle aged looking man wearing a suit and tie and dark shades that were not needed for being indoors. He also carried a briefcase. He followed the officer into the room and one of the MP's followed suit as the other closed the door and stood on guard outside the door.

I stared at the door for a minute longer before going back to my seat next to Chopper. "Who the hell was that?" Chopper said in a hushed tone.

"High ranking government officials." Chopper gave me a puzzled look.

"What are they here for?"

"They are here to cover up the incident, to make sure word of this doesn't get out." I said coldly, my eyes never leaving that door. I wasn't going to like everything that followed.

Chopper and I sat in silence from that point on. I didn't have to look at him or ask to know that he was disgusted with the whole thing too. We were all going to be talked to so that the government can make sure that we will keep our mouths shut. It was going to be a long day.

An hour later the door opened and we stood up. The MP at the door moved to the side but remained at attention next to the door as first the officer came out. He was followed by the man in the suit who looked directly at us or in our direction, no one could tell with the dark shades he had on. He leaned forward and whispered something into the officer's ear. The officer then looked in our direction and nodded. He walked towards us with one MP as the man in the suit walked down the hall with the other following.

"Second Lieutenant Blaze Michael?" The officer asked.

I saluted once more. "Yes sir." I said in a bold tone.

"At ease," I dropped my hand and stood at attention with my eyes back on the door behind him. "I need to speak with you," his eyes shifted over to Chopper. "And you Second Lieutenant Davenport. In private, separately." I didn't like the sound of that.

Colonel Perrault exited the room and headed straight down the hallway, probably headed for his office. Then followed Captain Hamilton with Captain Bartlett, who looked disgusted, and finally Nagase. She had her eyes glued to the ground and she refused to look up. The three headed in the opposite direction as the officer extended his hand.

"If you will come with me please." He didn't have to say please, I knew we didn't have a choice.

We followed the officer and his MP escort in silence. I wondered why he had to speak with us directly if we weren't involved in the battle itself. We stopped outside of Colonel Perrault's office and the officer stopped to look at us. "I will speak with Lieutenant Michael first." He then opened the door for me to walk in.

I hesitated for a second as I was unsure of what to expect. But I knew I had nothing to hide so there shouldn't be a problem. I walked in confidently as the officer walked in behind me shutting the door.

As I stepped in I saw the suit guy sitting behind the colonel's desk with the colonel himself standing next to him. The MP escorting the man was standing still next to the door behind me. I stopped several feet in front of the desk. There was a chair next to me, they probably wanted me to sit down.

The officer walked over next to the desk and the man in the suit took of his dark sunglasses and set them down. "You may sit." He said picking up his briefcase and opening it up.

"I prefer to stand sir." I said. Colonel Perrault flinched slightly because of my refusal. The officer looked at me unfazed and the man looked up at me from his briefcase.

He smiled in a dark sort of way. "Whatever you prefer." He took out a small folder and set it down putting his briefcase back on the ground. "You will refer to me only as sir. You will answer all of my questions completely and honestly, if you don't you will be subject to incarceration. This meeting will remain confidential as will the things I am about to tell you, is that understood lieutenant?"

"Yes sir." I said without hesitating.

"Very well, shall we begin? I am a representative of the Osean Intelligence Agency and this man is General David of the Osean Air Force, and Colonel Perrault you know." He looked down at his folder and began to open it up. I felt Colonel Perrault's eyes on me but I didn't look away from the man behind the desk. He flipped through a couple pages before snapping his head back up at me and folding his hands together. "Is your name Blaze Michael?"

"Yes sir."

"Is that what it says on your birth certificate?"

"I wasn't given a birth certificate until I was a year old as my original was lost along with my family."

"You were born a citizen of Osea?"

"Yes sir."

"You joined the Osean Air Force in 2008?"

"Yes sir."

"Did your plane suffer damage when returning from a patrol mission two days ago?"

"Yes sir, the landing gear failed and I-"

"Yes sir is good enough." He said looking back down at his papers. I held my tongue and swallowed the aching feeling that this would turn into an interrogation. He flipped through one before asking me another question. "Were you told of the events that happened today?"

"No sir."

"Were you made aware of them before they happened?"

What kind of a question was that? "No sir."

"Were you in contact with anyone in your squadron during-"

"Former squadron." Colonel Perrault interrupted.

The man stopped and looked over at the colonel. I could see out of the corner of my eye how uneasy the colonel was. "Excuse me?"

"He was in the process of being transferred out sir." The colonel said in a weak voice.

The agent looked from him to his papers. "Well as it stands Second Lieutenant Michael is still in the 108th tactical fighter squadron. And for the time being it will remain that way." The colonel nodded dumbly and I resisted the urge to smirk. The agent turned back to me. "As I was saying, were you in contact with anyone in your squadron during the events?"

"No sir."

The agent studied me for a moment before flipping over another paper. "You had no idea that your squadron was under attack?" He looked up at me with his eyes.

When I hesitated to respond the general spoke up. "Explain from your point of view."

I nodded once. "I was waiting in the colonel's office, this office, when I heard the alarms go off and then I ran out to see the battle in the skies. I waited near the end of the runway when the battle stopped and the remaining pilots landed."

The agent waited a moment to see if I had anything to add. "And that is all?"

"Yes sir."

The agent leaned back and let out a sigh. He rubbed his mouth with his left hand and kept staring at me. Then his eyes flicked over to the general. The general looked over at him and they shared a silent agreement.

"Very well." He said leaning back over the desk and going through the papers again. "Another thing, when you crash landed your plane the other day, did you do it intentionally?"

"Ah sir I didn't crash land."

"Excuse me?" He gave me the same threatening glare he gave Colonel Perrault. But instead of cracking I glared back.

"As I said earlier, the landing gear had failed on my plane and I was forced to land without it. I did the best I could to minimize damage but if you were to view the plane or ask the mechanic I in fact saved the plane and myself with my landing."

The agent studied me for a moment before nodding slightly. "Alright." He put all the papers back into the folder and but it all back in his briefcase. "Lieutenant you are here by sworn to secrecy about the events taking place on Sand Island on the day of September 23, 2010. If you do break this secrecy of silence you will be prosecuted as a traitor to your country. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir."

The agent nodded and stood up with briefcase in hand. He grabbed his sunglasses and put them back on. "Alright general, you have the floor."

The general gave a nod and looked directly at me. "Lieutenant it has come to my ears that you in fact lied on your background check."

My blood ran cold. They had found out. I suppose it was a matter of time but I knew how I would get out of this situation long ago.

"No sir, I did not lie."

The general looked at me curiously. "Really? Because on the forms you filled out, you failed to put down that you are indeed part Belkan."

I nodded before I continued. "I didn't put the information because it did not ask. I did not feel the need to present the information do to the fact that I had been previously discriminated to the fact that I am less than half Belkan."

The general seemed impressed with my answer. He paused for a moment and sat on top of Colonel Perrault's desk. "I will put this matter to rest right now." He said taking a moment to look over at the colonel. "You were being transferred because of the withholding of information. But as I see it, it is only minor information and should not decide the terms of a transfer. And as it stands, the 108th Tactical Fighter Squadron will need as many pilots as it can get."

The agent then pulled a form from his jacket and handed it to the general. The general took it and grabbed a pen from the desk. "I am signing a statement that states that Lieutenant Blaze Michael will remain an official member of the 108th Tactical Fighter Squadron based on Sand Island and the canceling of any records indicating a transfer." He signed it and handed it back to the agent who handed it to Colonel Perrault. He took it and looked over it.

"If you don't have any questions than that will be all lieutenant." He finished.

I clicked my heels together and gave a salute. The general gave a salute in return and I turned around and exited. I guess it didn't go that bad after all.

* * *

 _Later that night…_

I sat on the sofa in my quarters staring at the wall. It had been a long day but I wasn't tired in the slightest yet. It was frustrating to lie awake all night and then be tired the next day, but after many years I had gotten used to it.

I had been sitting there replaying the day in my mind. It pissed me off that the government and the military covered up something like that. Ten people dying is not something you just cover up. The only thing those people cared about was making sure that no one caught wind of it and we all started getting hit with the media. It was best that no one knew but covering up the way people died is wrong.

If it got me this angry then I wondered how Captain Bartlett was doing. I hadn't seen the captain but I guessed that he was livid after that. I could only imagine how he responded to the agent in that briefing room. I had heard about his blatant disrespect for anyone who tried to order him around. My only worry about him was that he didn't piss off too many people so that they would move him off Sand Island.

There was also Nagase. I hadn't seen her either but that look on her face told me everything. She was probably the one feeling the most pain from this. After all she was the only surviving member, besides the captain, from that battle. That added with the fact that she couldn't tell anyone what happened probably tore her up. But I guess I wouldn't know unless I talked to her.

I got pissed off at just sitting there and I finally got up and walked down the hall. The base didn't have set times for lights out or curfews, so we pretty much did whatever we wanted.

I walked out of the barracks and into the rec room. I wanted to grab myself a soda, it usually calmed my nerves. As I walked inside and made my way into the main room where the two lit up vending machines were. As I walked over to one I heard a faint gasp and looked over to the corner to see Nagase sitting on a couch with her feet up on the sofa. She was sitting directly underneath the window with the blinds open and the moon shining down on her.

She stared at me and I stared back. "Hey," she finally said.

"Hey," I said reaching into my pockets and grabbing the loose change I had. I put in the correct amount and pressed the button. I heard the rumbling of the can falling down and grabbed it when it appeared. I quickly opened it and took a sip. I finally looked back at Nagase and she seemed to have been staring at me the entire time. "Want one?" I asked referring to the soda. I already had a hand in my pocket grabbing more change.

"Huh? Oh, no, no thank you." She said in a quiet tone. I ignored her and turned around, putting more money in and getting another can. Seconds later I walked across the room and sat down in the chair next to her, on the side where her feet were.

"Here," I said handing her the soda. "It helps calms the nerves."

She looked from it to me and scoffed looking away. "I'm not nervous."

"I never said you were." I kept my arm extended offering her the soda. She looked back at me and her glare dropped. She reach over and took it.

"Thanks." She said opening it up and taking a sip.

"Don't mention it." I muttered taking another sip.

Silence filled the room for a few minutes. She must have gotten uncomfortable because she kept shifting in her half-sitting half-lying down position. I kept my eyes focused on the closed window across the room. The silence wasn't uncomfortable to me, I enjoyed silences. Some things were better left unsaid right?

"Can't sleep?" She finally asked.

"Insomnia." I said. She gave a quick nod and I looked at her to see that her eyes were now fixed on a book she was reading. I didn't notice it at first but now it made since why she had the blinds open and she was sitting in the moonlight. "You?"

She kept her eyes on her book. "I just can't sleep."

I nodded and looked back at the closed window. I didn't want to barrage her with questions because I'm sure she had been experiencing that all day. But I did have one question for her but I wasn't sure if I should ask it.

It bothered me because I had never been unsure of myself before. I didn't know why I was here, I didn't want to be around her right now but for some reason I thought that she needed someone around for the time being. I had never really thought about someone else's feelings or wellbeing and it was so foreign to me that I began to feel uncomfortable. I pushed that aside and asked my question anyway.

"How you feeling?" Okay I didn't word it right. I should have said how are you holding up but what came out meant general concern for her. My mouth and my mind weren't agreeing at the moment.

She flashed her eyes up from her book to me and I turned to her. Her eyes held obvious pain and sadness but her face tried to cover it up with anger. "I don't need any pity from you." She said trying to sound mad. But she failed.

"I wasn't giving you any." I said back trying to not sound angry. The last thing I needed was to piss her off. "I wanted to know if you were okay."

Her glare deepened. "Why do you care? You're going to be gone in a few days. And none of this or us will matter anymore." Now she sounded bitter.

"Sorry to rain on your parade but I'm staying." Her glare softened a bit. "For good."

"Whatever." I had never heard her like this before.

"If you have a problem with me then say it now." I said in a threatening voice. I didn't mean to but I put on one of my hardest looks. It was just a natural reaction for me to get angry in situations like this.

After that she seemed to stare at me for a little. She was looking directly at my eyes probably stunned with how angry they could get mixed in with the red. After a couple of seconds I shook my head. "Look I didn't mean-"

"No you're right, I'm sorry." She interrupted. My head turned back to her and I raised a brow in confusion. "I don't feel like anything is going well right now and I didn't mean to take it out on you."

"Well next time I will think twice about asking how you feel." Chopper must have been rubbing off on me because that was the first joke I told in years. But it got the needed result. She let out a small laugh and smiled a bit. But her smile was still sad. "But I never learn my lessons. So how are you feeling?"

She looked at me for a moment before looking away. "I don't know right now. I know that I should be happy that I made it but… I can't." I know this sounds bad but I didn't feel like playing therapist. If she was going to dump all her feelings on me I was going to tune most of it out. "It was just so… sad." But she got my attention so I stayed interested.

"Sad?"

She nodded slightly, her eyes returning to her book. "Yeah, that so many people had to die over something we don't even know well enough ourselves."

"Well isn't that what all fighting is about?" She looked back at me a little confused. "Most people that fight in war don't even know if they believe in it and they die not believing in it."

"But why couldn't we avoid it?"

"There is never a way to avoid conflict. Conflict is everyday nature of people. The conflict we have with others and with ourselves even. It sounds sick but it is what strengthens us."

She didn't seem convinced as her eyes dropped back down to her book. "It didn't give strength to those that died today. I just…" Her voice dropped. Usually I would have just dropped the conversation and gone back to my room but I felt actually interested in our talk.

"You just what?"

In the faint light from the moon I could see the shimmer in the corner of her eyes. When she spoke her voice was broken. "I just don't understand why I had to be the one." I looked at her, urging her to continue. "Out of everyone, the other rookies, the captains, why I had to be the one to make it back. I didn't deserve to make it out of there."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because I froze!" She said in a shout of desperation. She was staring at me with a pained look. "I froze when they attacked us. I froze when I had to take down an enemy. I didn't, no, I couldn't be responsible for taking another's life." She angrily wiped her eyes. "Why did a weak fighter like me have the right to live when the others could have done better?"

She was so close to breaking. I could feel it. And for some reason, I didn't want her too. "Weak?" I stood up and looked down at her. "Who said you were weak? You are not weak Nagase, you are the farthest thing from it. You are far stronger than any other pilot I met. You're stronger than I even am." I closed my mouth as I said this. Realizing that Chopper was right. When I do talk, I have no filter. Therefore I say any honest thing I have in my mind. Damn it… well I better not leave her hanging there. "You have a strong will and strong emotions. Having those things doesn't make you weak. It makes you stronger when you use them appropriately." I reached up and ran a hand through my hair as my voice dropped to a very quiet tone. Trying to take a more casual approach to one of the most meaningful conversations in my life. "And God knows you have stronger emotions than me. And I respect that about you."

She was speechless after what I said. We stayed like that for a good minute. I was standing over her looking at her with sincerity and she just stared back, stunned. Finally she licked her lips to try and get her voice back "Blaze I…" She stopped and closed her eyes lowering her head. "Thank you." She said quietly.

I let out a small sigh. This felt like a trap made by Chopper but I knew better. He was usually passed out by eleven. No, this was my doing. I walked into this and I actually had to give a damn and then feel something near sympathy. I did feel sympathy for her. But I wanted to pretend like I didn't. Cause I was still Blaze after all. "Don't mention it." I turned around and began to walk away. "You better get some sleep." I said leaving.

When I got back to my room I laid on my bunk staring at the ceiling. She was a great fighter true but what had gotten me to say that? I had found myself questioning the meaning behind that. I hadn't considered her a friend before but now… now she was becoming a friend. We had barely talked until now and it felt, well, great. I had never been a talker but with her it seemed like my hard emotionless exterior was cracking. The talks I always have with Chopper were meaningless and mostly him making weird small talk. But talking with Nagase… it made me feel a kinship towards her. In a much different way than I felt with Chopper. Chopper was my friend, but Nagase wasn't. And after this night… it felt like I could call her my friend. And that made me feel a little bit of joy. Even if I never admitted that.

I knew now that she was a friend, not just a squad mate but a friend that I would help out in any way I could. No matter how limited or how great it was.

Now things were starting to get interesting.

* * *

Fin.

A/N: So I didn't intend for this chapter to be that long but I couldn't find a good spot to split it into two separate chapters so there you go. And no Blaze does not consider Nagase anything more than a friend now. Do you realize how long it takes for someone with Blaze's personality to develop feelings of that caliber? Anyway so at the end of the chapter they go from rivals/squadmates to friends. Sweet.

I am basing all my ideas on what I believe caused for everything to happen in the game. Chopper and Blaze being on the ground during that battle, I needed a reason for it other than they just didn't fly up with the rest of the squad so I made it a little more coincidental.

And I decided to put up one to two chapter a month. Just cause these chapters are so long and I actually spend a good amount of time editing them. I like crawling inside Blaze and Nagase's heads in order to get a feel and general direction for my story. Also so that the end result is clear and close to what I see in my mind.

Anyway please leave me a review telling me what you think. I love all opinions and even just to tell me it was good or bad I need to know how you like it so I know how well I'm doing.


	3. Shorebirds

A/N: Now the start of the missions, let the fun begin! I apologize for the long wait. That's on me for writing this chapter twice and then not liking the end result. But after writing it a third time I have finally liked this chapter. And so now I present it to you, hope you like it! Anyway here it is. Please review.

Disclaimer: Chapter 1

Shorebirds

Kei Nagase,

September 24, 2010

I had eventually gotten to sleep after my… discussion with Blaze. He was right, soda did calm the nerves. But I did not get much sleep. Waking up and falling back asleep throughout the night. And then eventually waking up permanently in the morning. We had to meet in the briefing room at 0900 hrs. I woke at around 0700 and could not go back to sleep. My mind was still bugging me about yesterday's events, but I had learned to let most of that pain go. Thanks to Blaze.

I quickly showered and dressed in one of my flight suits with the Wardog Squadron emblem on the shoulder patch and made my way to the mess hall for breakfast. The food wasn't fantastic but it was still nothing to complain about. Rarely did I complain about things.

When I walked in the mess hall I noted how empty it was. With the absence of all the pilots we lost the room looked so big. There was well over twenty tables with four chairs at each table, the emptiness made it seem so much bigger. I sighed and looked down in shame. The empty feeling returned to me and I began to put myself on edge once more. Oh, no pun intended.

I grabbed my food and sat down at the table we… or I always sat at. I was never really popular with the other pilots but they had always sat in close vicinity with me. For reasons I didn't really care about. I might not have been friends with them but I knew all of them. And now they were gone. Now I was all alone in the room. I picked at my food as I lost my appetite. My mind was starting to make me drown in the reminders of the battle. If you could even call it a battle. The slaughter of almost everyone I have come to know. I tried to fight it but I was quickly losing confidence again.

What I didn't see was Blaze and Chopper at their table in the back of the room. When I had finally looked up I saw Chopper talking as he always does but that's not what caught my eyes. Blaze was staring right at me with his normal scowl. If you didn't know his usual scowl than you would have thought that he was looking at me angrily, but I had seen his angry scowl and this one was different. It was almost like he was looking at me sympathetically, beneath the harshness of the rest of his face. His red eyes were baring deep into mine and I couldn't help but stare wide eyed right back at him.

Then he did something neither Chopper nor I expected. He got up, carrying his plate, and walked right towards me. In pure silence he walked over and sat down across from me. I kept staring at him as he calmly sat down and started to eat like the act had no meaning. He didn't glance up at me in the slightest. I couldn't tell if he was doing this out of pity or kindness. I guess my question was answered with time. I just kept staring at him as the silence aggravated me even more. I had learned last night that Blaze didn't mind silence, I think he enjoyed it. Which made me wonder why he was friends with a person like Chopper.

Finally after what felt like an hour, but was more like a minute, he looked up at me with those fiery eyes. His scowl was gone and his facial expression was just blank as he looked back at me. I finally had the confidence to speak. "Wha…?" I thought it was profound.

"What was with leaving me in the middle of my story like that Blaze?" Chopper said as he walked over and sat next to Blaze. Acting as if nothing changed in between the time when Blaze changed seats. I never really had an opinion on Chopper. He was loud and talkative sure, but he was never hurtful. A little on the rude side but never cruel intentionally. Chopper was very particular with the words he said. Even if it didn't seem like it. He smiled and looked from his friend to me. "Say Nagase, what do you think about the food? I always ask Blaze but he says its fine, all the time. But I know better than that. Blaze would eat just about anything isn't that right?" Blaze just looked up with his eyes at his wingman. Then he looked back at his food, continuing to eat.

Chopper had a way for breaking tension. At the time though I didn't know if I was relieved or not that he sat down with us and interrupted me. I went with the former. "I guess its fine." I said. The question was odd and I didn't know what to say. And I didn't really pay attention to it or him anyway.

Chopper waved his hand and shook his head. "You and Blaze are too much alike. I mean have you guys ever really had a good home cooked meal? You know, like ma used to make? This stuff tastes like it came out of the microwave."

He went on for a few minutes about the gross food they give us and then he went on to music, a favorite topic of his. One he could talk about for hours on end. Almost every time I overheard him and Blaze talking, well him talking with Blaze listening, it was involving music. I often said something or asked a question but he talked most of the time. I was grateful for that, I didn't feel like talking much at the time anyway. Which is probably why he and Blaze were so close. Blaze didn't really like to talk from what I noticed. Out of all the things he brought up he didn't say anything about the battle yesterday. From that moment on I knew that Chopper was indeed a man who had deep feelings for others but played a jabbering fool as a cover up. It was a charming attribute of his. For a group always needs the one who makes the jokes.

But the whole time Blaze didn't say anything. He didn't laugh or even smile at Chopper's jokes even when I did. He just sat there eating in his own silence. He often looked from me to Chopper but his eyes usually lingered on me. I was guessing that he wanted to make sure I didn't break again or that I was still keeping my head up. His silence was probably because he didn't have really anything more to say. I would always look at him when I felt his eyes and he never looked away in shame. Instead he held my gaze for a while until either I looked back at Chopper, who was always talking, or he went back to eating. It was an unusual display of pure confidence from him and I began to admire him a bit. I was glad that he was staying with us and I knew that he would have all of our backs.

After we ate we walked into the briefing room to find that some other pilots were already in there. I noticed from the insignia on their flight suits that they were of a different squadron. I took my spot at the front while Chopper sat somewhere in the middle and I saw Blaze go off towards the back. I looked ahead and saw Captain Bartlett staring at the ceiling in a daze. He didn't say much when the high ranking officers talked about covering up the battle, so I could only imagine how he must have been taking it.

"I know you don't like this," Captain Bartlett said, sitting up and starting the meeting. Or whatever this was. "But we are short on people. Starting tomorrow all you nuggets are going to be sittin' on alert. If we launch stay glued to me up there." The captain stopped then looked directly at me. "Nagase!" He half yelled, making sure he had my attention.

I stood up straight and looked directly at him. "Sir."

He studied me as he spoke. "You're flying Number Two on my wing." His voice dropped. "Gotta keep an eye on you or who knows what you'll get yourself into." It may have seemed like an insult to everyone else in the room but not to me. I knew him, I knew Captain Bartlett and that was his way of saying that he was going to watch over me to make sure I didn't do anything stupid. I tried my hardest not to smile at him.

Captain Bartlett and I shared a special connection after the battle. We were the only ones that survived the day. Because of that I felt more connected to him than I did with anyone else. And I made up my mind that I would make sure that we would be the ones to come back every single time. He was my Captain and I was his wingman. His safety was my responsibility and mine alone. That's probably where I went wrong. I put too much pressure on myself. Thinking I was alone. I guess, for a while there, I know how Blaze felt. Feeling alone…

The captain leaned back and looked over my shoulder. "Davenport?" He said addressing Chopper by his last name.

"Yes sir?" Chopper said in a loud voice. Then again his voice is just naturally loud.

"You will be the Number Three. Don't make me regret this." Captain Bartlett said with a slight smirk. Before Chopper and Blaze were friends Chopper was the worst pilot on the planet. Then he turned into a mediocre pilot. When he got to Sand Island and started working with Captain Bartlett he turned into an excellent pilot. Clearly not on the level of Blaze and I but better than anyone we ever faced. And that was good enough.

Behind me I could hear Chopper mutter. "I swear man." It didn't mean that Chopper liked everything Captain Bartlett put him through. But he most likely thanked him for it. I hope he did.

Captain Bartlett's smirk went away as his eyes passed by the two of us and towards the back. "Blaze!"

Blaze heard him, but he was always one to test people's patience. It wasn't that he didn't like the captain but more like he was just naturally cold to everyone. I guess having red eyes does that to you. And all the other things that Blaze had to go through in his life. He liked challenging people. And winning. "Sir?" He said in a low tone after a long pause. I'm not quite sure how the captain heard him. Maybe he didn't and just continued to talk anyway.

"You will be Number Four. Who knows how Davenport would survive without you covering his ass." Bartlett said standing up. I could hear Chopper mumbling under his breath again. I tried not to smile. "Alright nuggets now that Wardog Squadron is all set, we should get set for briefing. Who knows how long that colonel will take to get in here? It takes him like fifteen minutes to just-"

Captain Bartlett was cut off by the door opening and Colonel Perrault and Captain Hamilton walking in. Captain Bartlett stopped and turned his head to the pair and wore a cocky grin. "Colonel, we were just talking about you."

Most of the pilots started to laugh and I couldn't help but put a hand over my mouth to stop a laugh. The colonel glared at Captain Bartlett and walked to the front with Hamilton. "Captain Bartlett, I was just discussing your promotion with some senior officials. You may want to keep that in mind." He said.

"As always." Captain Bartlett said still wearing his grin. Captain Bartlett hadn't been promoted in fifteen years. I didn't have to guess why he wasn't promoted in that amount of time. He was like Blaze in that regard. If Blaze ever said more than three words per hour. The colonel began the briefing and as we listened I couldn't help but to have another uneasy feeling about it.

I knew that something had to go wrong again. Something always went wrong. Murphy's Law.

* * *

 _Blaze,_

It felt great to be back up in the air on my first official mission with Wardog Squadron. Chopper and I had gotten new planes while ours were getting repaired but we were needed to fill the squadron. All the others on base were assigned to other squadrons. Or they were trainees. Definitely didn't want them in the air. So Captain Bartlett put in for brand new planes instead.

There was four of us now; Captain Bartlett, Nagase, Chopper, and me. It was a small squadron but it was our squadron and I would be damned if anything happened to it. And to think I wasn't even the flight lead. But I wasn't about to let someone get shot down on my watch.

We were off on a mission to intercept, but not shoot down, a stealth fighter that had breached our airspace. It was apparently hit and was losing altitude. Chopper said that our first mission was so boring that it was a sad start to our careers. I told him that there was no such thing as a boring mission and something would happen. I didn't actually believe that but I wanted him to keep his head on a swivel. No telling what could go on when you are in the skies. I suppose I came to learn all the possibilities of what would happen in the skies.

Earlier that day I had seen Nagase sitting by herself in the mess hall. What I noticed was the depressing look on her face and the last thing I needed was for her to go into a state of despair again. So I went over and sat with her. She was shocked just as much as I was but thankfully Chopper came, like I knew he would, and broke the tension. In my mind, I saw it like we were going to be saving each other's lives every day than the least we could do is be friends. I never really had friends except for Chopper but now Nagase was alone, I guess she had always been alone though.

I had noticed earlier on that she didn't fit in with the rest. They were all proud boasters and egotistical morons, but not her. She was only around the other pilots so that she didn't have to be alone, and I guessed that they saw her as good eye candy. Anyway she never really socialized with the rest of them and was always the quiet one. She didn't like attention and in many ways she was a lot like me. Except that she had a caring heart for all those around her while I didn't care at all really. She was kind and sweet towards almost everyone and I was cold and distant. But she had her cold side just like I had somewhat of a kind side. I never really showed it though, not for the longest time. Much like her and her cold side. But I was able to bring that out in her a lot. She fought cold with cold. And somehow I showed compassion around her more than anyone else. We could bring out the worst, and best, in each other sometimes. And I thought it was a good thing. She needed to be mean sometimes. You can't get far by being nice or batting your pretty eyelashes. She punched me when I told her that one time. But I made my point.

She was always alone and the fact that the entire squadron was gone just made her realize that. So I figured if we were to be alone, why not be alone together? I was trying to do my one good deed in this lifetime by being her friend. Besides, a person can always use friends, no matter how few they have. From that night that I talked to her on I let myself show what little compassion and kindness I could offer to her, and Chopper I suppose. But the guy never really complained anyway. He didn't ask or care for my compassion. You know, I really see why we got along so well actually.

I was so distracted with my inner thoughts that I didn't hear the squadron sound off.

"Wardog 4! Hello!? Can you hear me Kid? You better be marking our tail son!" Captain Bartlett shouting at me brought me back to reality. The hum from the engines was loud but Captain Bartlett was louder. He always was. I didn't really catch on to the fact that he called me Kid, wouldn't be the last time I heard it too.

"Yes sir," I said rather quickly. I was probably giving off the feeling that I was nervous, but my hand was steady and my pulse was normal. I wasn't nervous in the slightest. But I was distracted. Thinking does that to you from time to time.

"Looks like you're confident at least. Don't get separated from me." He sounded a bit on edge but Captain Bartlett was always like that when he was in a plane. I guess I inherited that trait as well.

"Man, I'm glad you drew the short straw instead of me!" Chopper always had to voice his opinion. Not sure what that meant but at the same time I stopped questioning Chopper's sayings a long time ago.

"Second Lieutenant Alvin H. Davenport, zip it! You need a nickname too?" I hadn't heard Chopper's name in a long time. I almost forgot his name was Alvin. Calling a person by their nickname long enough makes you forget their real name from time to time.

"I respectfully ask to be called Chopper sir." He said with confidence. If he wasn't going to be called Chopper than I don't know what I was going to call him anymore. Maybe I would call him Elvis. He had the hair for it. "I'm afraid I may not be able respond to any other moniker." Now that was true.

"Hmm… That does fit you well, I've got a better name for you but I will keep it to myself okay?" Captain Bartlett actually did like his name. Would have bet against that if I was a betting man.

I'm not.

"Aw cut me some slack man." Chopper whined.

"Tally ho, we've got company. Let's go." Captain Bartlett said as his plane broke off the straight formation. I turned my plane and followed Chopper and Edge. It seemed like he wanted to be quick and end the mission. I didn't blame him. With everything that had been going on recently it was better to be near home base. AKA Sand Island.

The plane was pretty easy to maneuver. It was only a basic plane after all. I could feel the smooth turn and no struggle on the stick as I made it move. The F-5 was a standard rookie jet for a reason. For its ease of maneuver. I felt comfortable in it more or less. But I could certainly handle something more complicated. I wanted to upgrade, but as a "nugget" I knew better than to voice my opinion on such things.

"You're forbidden to fire on the target until I give you permission, understand?" Captain Bartlett's voice echoed in my ears. I thought it was a pretty simple order that didn't need reminding. But he was responsible for all of us. Being the Captain and all.

"Yes sir." I said back.

"Good boy." What am I, a dog now? First it was Kid then good boy, I never understood Captain Bartlett. Not only that but no one else responded. Was he just talking to me? I guess my history of refusing authority had rubbed Captain Bartlett the wrong way. But he didn't need to worry about that. I half respected Captain Bartlett, which meant I always listened to his orders without question. Maybe a little hesitation but habits were hard to break.

We flew right behind the stealth plane but are weapons were on safe and we could only observe the target. An SR-71 Blackbird. A machine capable of incredible speed and stealth. Almost impossible to catch or shoot down unless it was doing something dumb like flying low and slow over enemy territory. Which it was. Maybe Chopper was right, maybe this would be simple.

"All right where's Motormouth Chopper?" Captain Bartlett. I let a small smile show, that name did suit him a bit better.

"Wha? That's your name for me?" Chopper sounded insulted but I thought it was quite clever. At least for Captain Bartlett.

"You've got a knack for comic dialogue. You mind sending the surrender request for me." Again true. Chopper's gift was talking, it was only fair that he use it. Especially since he always displayed his gift in my presence. Again, I didn't mind him talking. Because he didn't mind me not responding. A major reason we became friends.

"Oh no, please, age before beauty." Only Chopper would have the balls to talk to the captain like that.

"I'm real shy around strangers you know…" I could hear the smirk that Captain Bartlett was wearing. If anyone could turn Chopper's quips back on him it was Captain Bartlett. And he was good at it.

"Sheesh, testing… testing. Attention, unidentified aircraft. Set your course for our beacon immediately." Chopper started.

"Good."

"Uh… we will guide you to the nearest airfield. Lower your gear if you understand." Chopper finished.

Silence followed as we waited for the spy plane to comply. I looked out of my canopy to see the black aircraft gliding through the air but their altitude was decreasing. I couldn't tell if they would crash land soon. The damage wasn't too bad. As far as I could tell. But if they were not going to comply then Captain Bartlett would issue our alternative orders. Which was of course bringing the plane down by force. It didn't matter to me which it was. I haven't shot down someone yet but I wouldn't hesitate. If sending a plane to the ground protected my squadron then I would do it. Seconds ticked by as we waited then AWACS came on our radio.

"Warning! We have four high-speed bogeys inbound. Approaching unknown aircraft bearing 280, altitude 6,000 feet. Hold your fire until further orders!"

My mind raced as I started to have the feeling that this mission would not be so simple anymore. A formation of fighters were coming to intercept us, I wanted this to go as painlessly as possible but I knew I would not get my request. Unidentified aircraft entering our air space as we were circling the recon plane. That only meant one thing in my mind. Enemies.

"Crossing the pond to cover their spy plane huh? Now there's a fighter pilot worth their wings." I could hear in his voice that he was impressed with the enemy. I guess I learned to respect my enemy from him.

We all veered our planes to the intercept point. "Enemy inbound bearing 280! Head on." Captain Bartlett was able to change into battle mode at will and I had hoped to be like that one day. Obviously not as a squadron leader but as a fighter pilot. Being squadron leader was the last thing on my mind. I was totally unfit. I got my plane behind the captain as Edge was on his wing and Chopper flew up beside me. I could see the two planes in front of me and Chopper was over my shoulder on my right. "You're not to fire until I say it's okay, got me?" I don't know why but I knew that his question was directed at me only.

"Understood." I said simply.

"Good boy." I should have seen that coming. If he kept saying "good boy" then we were going to have words.

We flew to meet the enemy head on and I could tell that the others were nervous. It was the eerie silence that followed as we went to intercept them that put me on edge. I usually enjoyed silences. But this was different. We were going into a situation we had no idea what would happen next. Chopper must have been silent because he didn't know what to say. A first. And Nagase, well, because of what had happened last time something like this happened. I waited patiently as I could for something to happen as the four dots came into view on my HUD. And it did. Quickly too.

As we came into range I heard my warning system go off as I was locked on. Locked on? By the four dots on my HUD that I couldn't lock on to? That I couldn't fire on!? What's worse than being shot at? Being shot at and not being able to fire back.

My eyes widened as I heard bullets screaming by us. We all broke formation in an instant and split off to avoid being hit. The captain went up and was followed by Nagase as Chopper pulled off to the right. I, however, went straight at them and turned my plane so that I was spinning as I flew right by the enemy planes. Barrel rolling straight through their formation. My improvisation worked. They broke formation. Flying apart like we had to do from their fire.

"Heads up they're firing on us!" Chopper yelled as we broke off.

I flipped my plane around and headed back at the enemy. My orders were quickly forgotten. The enemy was firing on the only people I ever called my friends. That exact thought didn't enter my mind. But the fact that they dared to attack us without warning got me fired up. Like the engines on my plane. I turned my weapons off safe and was ready to fight back as Chopper came back on my wing. My thumb began to hover over the missile launch.

"Wardog Squadron, weapons safe. Hold your fire until further orders!" AWACS said before I was even close enough for a lock on. I loosened my grip on the stick a little as the captain and Edge came into view ahead of us. At least they were safe. But I was still pissed. They were trying to take us out again and AWACS was telling us weapons safe. This was some serious FUBAR. Fucked Up Beyond Recognition. If you didn't know what FUBAR meant.

"Oh come on man! Those aren't blanks they're firing out there!" Chopper was right. We were really screwed if they held the weapons safe order. I knew I could outmaneuver them, but I wasn't sure about the rest of the squad. Especially Chopper. He couldn't fly a plane like I could. And there was only so much I could do with the weapons safe order.

"Shut your mouth and fire back!" That was all I needed to hear. Captain Bartlett was the only one I needed to hear orders from. I quickly deactivated the weapons safe on my plane. When Captain Bartlett said that I was glad. Glad to take out the SOB's that dared to shoot anyone in my squadron down. Glad to take revenge for the battle I missed the day before. Glad to…

"Yes sir," I said flying up behind one of the fighters that broke off their original formation. Thanks to my suicidal attempt earlier they were all separated. I didn't plan on this happening but it was fortunate in the end. Chopper was staying off to the side and covering my tail as I came in close for a lock on. For as much shit as I gave him he was an excellent wingman.

"Captain Bartlett, this is Thunderhead. You are violating direct orders!" I barely heard his voice as the sound of a lock on rang in my ears. The enemy pilot tried to make a sharp turn to evade but I had already anticipated it and pulled ahead, cutting off his move. The sky was really lanes in disguise. If you looked closely you could see the barriers around you. There was only so much one could do, especially in the sky.

I didn't think twice as hit fired the missile at the plane. The enemy pilot clearly wasn't skilled. The missile soared at the plane before he could make an effort to dodge my attack. I didn't feel pity for him however. Pity and sympathy were lost emotions to me. The missile hit and the plane exploded into a fiery inferno. My eyes narrowed as I watched the plane go down and no one ejected. I was glad that I was alone because no one could see that I had enjoyed the kill. The twisted joy I held from downing an enemy plan. I didn't want to kill someone. I just wanted the plane to be destroyed. And it was. With the pilot inside. This did not occur to me at the time. I couldn't care less if the pilot died. He was my enemy. And no one had taught me the value of human life. So if the enemy was dead, and we were alive, I was happy. That's all that mattered.

"Shove it! I'm not gonna watch anymore of my pilots die!" Damn right, I thought. I was thankful for Captain Bartlett being my captain. He understood everything. Even the stuff I didn't. Or I did and it just didn't register at the time.

But in reality, in those few short missions with Captain Bartlett as my Captain, I learned so much. Most of it was just involuntary and cognitive. But I wouldn't have been the pilot without him.

Well I certainly would have been the pilot I turned out to be. But never the leader. And that was what Bartlett taught me. He knew I was paying attention. So he just led and flew. And I watched and learned. In the end, it helped. I hope it showed.

"Edge engaging!" I heard her voice and I looked over my shoulder to see her plane and another before the enemy plane was shot down. I watched it all happen in slow time. Seconds ticking by like hours. When it only took a few moments. But felt like watching a two hour movie. It looked like she didn't have any problems this time. And that made me a little happy. The last thing I wanted was for her to hesitate and have one of us, or her, get shot down.

I turned my plane and went after another bogey when I saw Chopper's jet soar past me towards the target. He reached targeting range before I did. "Mind if I grab this kill? I will you know." He sounded strangely calm and confident, given our situation. I was going to yell at him for not having my six, but the picture was clear besides the one in front of me and the enemy plane that Captain Bartlett was tailing.

Before I could say anything Captain Bartlett said it first. "Go ahead." I took up the wingman position for Chopper. Not to sound prideful but I stuck to combat and strategy closely in the air. I had screwed up enough in life to screw up in the air. Especially when someone else's life was in my hands. The other plane wasn't coming after us so I just focused on Chopper as he fired a missile. It hit the enemy plane and it folded up into flames. I looked on radar to see that Captain Bartlett was after the fourth one. Seems that things were going smoothly so far.

"Wardog Squadron, weapons safe! Hold fire until further orders!" A little late for that dude. Was he even paying attention to the radar?

After Captain Bartlett shot down the fourth plane I then saw on radar that there was four more planes coming at us. I was about to ask Captain Bartlett but again he beat me to it. "We're gonna shoot them all down Kid." Well Kid was better than good boy and I didn't mind the name. Even though Blaze was a nickname already. No, I'm not complaining.

We all got back in formation to meet the enemy as AWACS tried to repeatedly tell us to not fire. Yeah right! We were going to shoot down whoever tried to shoot us down. That was the rule of combat. At least it was my rule. And it seemed to be Captain Bartlett's rule as well.

"Enemy recon plane down." AWACS said. I had almost forgotten about the recon plane.

"Aww, what a shame. Too tired to party?" Captain Bartlett said like he was disappointed. Whoever this enemy was they seemed to want to keep secrecy more than they wanted to keep their lives.

All four of us headed for the second enemy formation and they didn't break formation. As we came closer my warning system came on just as quickly as I locked on with a plane. It happened in milliseconds. I saw that Captain Bartlett and Edge broke off and I only guessed that Chopper broke off as well. After all it was suicide to fly straight at an enemy head on. But I didn't plan on dying anytime soon. I liked to think that this suicidal type of flying was my own trademark. Flying directly into an enemy formation at top speeds. Some would call it stupid. I liked to think it was daring.

As soon as I heard my lock on system activate I fired and my own warning system went off. I quickly spun my plane and turned it slightly to head at a different plane. The missile that was heading for me barely missed me, I had pushed the plane to full power and reached almost 800 mph. The trail of smoke from the missile could be seen above my canopy. As I came within view of the other plane I turned my plane slightly as I held down the trigger and fired my cannon at it. I heard the faint noise of bullets hitting metal as I flew past it. But I didn't bring it down unfortunately. The plane I had fired my missile at was hit and promptly went down.

The other three planes went by me as I let off the throttle and began to turn my plane around. I had been going so fast that my turn was wider and took more time. I didn't notice until I was completely turned around that an enemy had come up behind me.

I looked on my radar to see that Captain Bartlett was taking on the other two planes and Chopper was quickly trying to catch up with me. Dammit Chopper! If I get out of this alive I swear I will get a new wingman! Why wasn't he paying attention to where I was? Well, I was flying off like a lone fighter. With crazy moves that I knew Chopper couldn't do. So maybe it was my fault?

That didn't matter. I quickly began to calculate his speed and where we were altitude wise. I pushed the stick hard to the right and began to go in a circle, hoping that he would overshoot me and I could get up behind him. It didn't work. I was now turning back to the left while increasing my altitude. I was cutting off the acceleration as my speed was decreasing rapidly. He was getting behind me quickly but he wouldn't be able to stop my next move. The warning came on that I was being locked on and I prepared for my move but I never made it.

Instead a new plane popped up behind me on my radar and the enemy plane tried to evade. Completely forgetting about trying to take me down. I looked over my shoulder to see the enemy plane was shot down and an F-5 speed by me. With the number 7 on the side of it. I smiled slightly seeing that it was Edge. She had come to save my ass. But she didn't know that I had the situation completely under control. Why she was flying over to me to cover my six, I still don't know.

"All unknown bogey aircraft destroyed." AWACS said over the radio. Really? I looked on my radar to see that the other two planes were down. Captain Bartlett worked quickly to take the others down. I guess that was why he was Captain.

We all reduced our altitude and got back in formation. Nagase and I filed in and Chopper fell back so that he could come on my right. I was about ready to yell at Chopper and ask him where the hell he was but I didn't get the chance.

"This is your captain. Can you hear my voice?" He sounded relieved. I guess we all were. We shot down eight enemy aircraft and had no losses. And after what he had gone through a day ago, with all the losses of his rookies, I could understand why he was relieved. I was too. Because I was up in the battle, instead of on the ground watching. I guess it was a good day. All things considered.

"Yes sir." I said. Was it just me or was he only addressing me throughout the entire mission? Ah, I didn't focus too much on that. Considering the battle and all.

"Good, looks like we can all hear each other. You all alive? Good work nuggets." He didn't sound the least bit surprised. Like he knew we could do it. I wonder what else he knew would happen. "Wardog 4 you still following us?" I didn't know how to respond but he didn't give me the chance. Seems that he liked doing that.

"Well, to commemorate the fact that we all made it out of that battle alive, I'm gonna let you keep your nickname. From now on I'm gonna call you Kid no matter what. Got it? Good." I guess the subject wasn't up for discussion. I wasn't surprised, I was used to it. I didn't take well to the nickname Kid but it was a lot better than being called something else I suppose. So I couldn't really complain. A lot. I even came to enjoy it somewhat, but I will never say it aloud.

"Man I swear…" I didn't know what Chopper was complaining about. Maybe he wanted the name Kid. I didn't really give it much thought at the time.

That was how I came to be called Kid.

To think, I thought that battle was chaos. That battle was cake compared to what happened next. We were rushed back to the briefing room and were interrogated by the higher up officials again. Only it was much longer and tedious than the last one. It was a long and dull process that just ended in the same result as the day before. The battle never happened and we were to not speak about it. Not too surprised by that.

All this covering up and secrecy made me sick. Why did something like this have to be covered up? But the captain had told me something. "Soldiers like us are too stupid to think for ourselves." I realized that there was a double meaning to what he had said, but I didn't think about it until much later. The mood during the interrogation was actually better than yesterday. Chopper was happy and boasting about how the enemy couldn't take out the great Wardog Squadron and Osean's four greatest pilots. The captain was smiling the whole time they scolded him on disobeying orders. And Nagase was also in a better mood. I could tell by the fact that she didn't hang her head or look down in sadness. And at one point I think she managed to smile. She wasn't pale either. Taken in the fact that no one died.

As for me, I kinda ignored the whole meeting. It was all just bullshit anyway. I was recalling the battle and my emotions during it. That and my earlier conversation with Nagase. She had said how she felt remorse for taking another's life even if it was the enemy. It was then I realized that I did not. I didn't feel sorry in the slightest. I knew what I did and I was glad to do it. Not to take someone's life pointlessly. But to take from them before they could take from us.

Don't think of me as some sick twisted sociopath. I wasn't talking about mindlessly killing innocents and taking pleasure in it. No, I was caught up in the thrill of battle. And enemy lives ending was meaningless to me. It was bad enough that I felt no fear but now I felt no remorse for something I should regret. But I didn't. Was I some sort of demon with no feelings whatsoever? I held no sort of compassion or kindness, my humanity was always questioned by others and now I questioned it myself?

Was there truly no heart or soul inside of me?

I quickly shoved aside the thoughts for the rest of the day.

After the whole mess was sorted out we went into the rec room and Chopper was talking about how we had to come up with some sort of number system for our kills. Something I found ridiculous.

"I'm telling you Blaze, we need to keep track of our kills." He said. I was in front as we walked into the main room where there was four sofas and a number of chairs and the vending machines. I walked over and sat down on one of the sofas.

"What does it matter? There won't be many battles after this." I said rolling my eyes. Nagase came over and sat down in a chair next to the spot I was in. Chopper continued to stand and was looking between us.

"How do you know that? This was the second battle in two days. I'm telling you something big is coming." He continued.

"I'd hate to agree with him but Chopper is right. There must be something coming." Nagase said quietly. I looked over at her with a bored expression before I looked back at Chopper.

"Who's going to keep track? You?" I asked in a slightly sarcastic tone.

Chopper brought a hand up to his chin in a thoughtful pose. "I could but we need a chart to make it official." Leave it to Chopper to take something I said sarcastic seriously. I need to remember that in future conversations.

"A chart?"

I had a bad feeling about this. And it was confirmed when Chopper spotted an old whiteboard in the corner of the room. He smiled wickedly as he went over and took it off the wall. He moved the small whiteboard towards the front wall and hung it up on a tack that was there. He grabbed the marker from the holder on the bottom of the board and began to write names. He started with his own, conceited bastard, then Nagase's and finally mine. That should have been a given.

I frowned when I saw that he put up Blaze/Kid. I leaned forward and questioned him. "So why am I Kid?" Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nagase smile a little. I gave her a look of slight annoyance before returning my gaze to Chopper.

"The captain said he would call you Kid and it has a slight ring to it." He said as he drew lines to divide our names. "So let's get on with the tally." He said before putting a mark by his name. "That's one for me." He put two tallies next to Nagase's name. "Two for Nagase."

"Uh, four." She said. Chopper stopped and turned to her as did I. She glanced between us before further explaining. "I got two yesterday." She said in a calm tone.

Chopper shrugged and continued. "Fine, four for the lady. Who got a head start. And two for the Kid." I rolled my eyes again at the sound of my nickname. "So far we are off to a good start. We didn't die." He said happily as he came over and dropped onto the couch next to me. "Man, who knows what will happen now."

"Same thing as always." I said and the two looked at me with interest. "We sit around waiting for our next orders to fly up and shoot down more enemies. Whenever that will be. Considering that we are supposed to be in peace. I say peace with sarcasm."

Chopper looked at me questioningly while Nagase shook her head. "We are clearly not at peace." She said in her soft voice. But I could hear the emotion behind it.

"That's what everyone always says right?" I challenged. "We are currently in a long peace and everything that happened didn't. Or did you guys forget the two hour meeting we just had." The two fell silent at my words. I glanced at both from the corner of my eyes before I stood up. "I want a soda, do you want a soda?" I asked as I walked over to the vending machine. I wasn't surprised when I didn't get an answer so I just got one for myself. I grabbed it and opened it up taking a gulp.

"Wow Blaze, you know how to tell it like it is." Chopper said behind me. I turned slightly and stared out the window. I looked on with mild interest as I thought back on the mission again.

"Something is happening right now, and we are stuck in the middle. You are foolish to ignore that" My eyes darted to Nagase and she looked back at me, not a bit intimidated. That was something, since she just called me foolish. But I wasn't. I knew what was going on. Someone was trying to pick a fight with us. And in my gut I knew who it was. That was the part that worried me.

"Captain Bartlett tells us that we are soldiers. Too stupid to think for ourselves. That's what we have the chain of command for." I told them. Then I walked back and sat down again. "Do you think he really believes that though?" I asked them. But I was really asking myself. From what I knew of Captain Bartlett I knew he didn't believe that. Even if he did say it. That quote would confuse me in the coming days. Until I could figure out its double meaning.

"But is that what we should do? Is that who we should be?"

I fell silent at her words. No one has ever made me do that. My eyes relaxed as my glare turned into puzzlement. I felt something different in that moment. Confusion. Are we just mindless soldiers forced to fight whenever someone told us? To answer the call without question? Is that what I became a fighter pilot for? To be turned into whatever someone told me to be? I slowly turned my head back to the window.

Confusion was something odd for me to experience. Most of my life I knew what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. Now that I am what I wanted to be I had to answer the question of what I want to be now. What kind of soldier. What kind of pilot. What kind of man.

And at that moment, I had no idea.

"Blaze?" I kept my gaze at the window when I heard her call my name. I must have been silent for a while. Thinking over the words much more than they had been. But these words meant something to me.

"We are gonna still be on high alert." I said, changing the subject. "We should probably take it easy considering we are one of two squadrons left here on the island." I told them.

"We're only one of two squadrons left?" Nagase asked.

"Who told you all of this?" Chopper asked.

"Captain Bartlett." I said as if it were something everyone should know. "Didn't he tell you two as well?" I asked after looking at their shocked expressions. "No?"

"No, he didn't say anything about it." Nagase said then looked at the ground. "You think he would have told us something this important."

"Well I told you." I said, not really understanding why it was a big deal. Captain Bartlett told me and I told them. Though I didn't see it as Captain Bartlett ignoring his wingman. Or that he was passing on squadron leader jobs to me.

"That means we're gonna double down on patrols. This sucks man!" Chopper whined, leaning back in his chair. I didn't voice it but I agreed. It was going to suck. Less time to recover. But it had its upside. More time in the air. And that was what I loved. Flying in the air.

"We'll manage." I said. "Hopefully it will be less exciting in future missions and patrols." I added as an afterthought. Though it didn't get the reaction I was looking for.

Another small silence followed and I felt Nagase's eyes on me the whole time. Guess I said it like it was an adventure. With miner bumps in the road. Not the fact that we had killed people today. Self-defense or otherwise. I turned my gaze to the window and she decided to speak first. "It was easier to react this time. And I'm glad that we didn't lose anyone this time." She said softly. It still amazes me how someone who seemed so kind was a fighter pilot. A fighter pilot who had four kills in two missions apparently. "But I couldn't help but pity those pilots we shot down."

"Yeah after the battle I felt that too." Chopper admitted. So I guess I was alone in my emotionless stupor. Maybe the veterans were like this too. I would have to ask Captain Bartlett about it later.

"Yeah… but it had to be done." I said shifting the conversation. "We couldn't just let them shoot us down." My hope was for them to see if from my side.

"Yes, see there is a reason for everything. Thanks Blaze, that makes me feel better." Chopper said, his grin returning. One thing I couldn't stand was Chopper feeling down and being nonresponsive. That's how you know something is wrong, when Chopper doesn't have something to say.

"Still…" I heard Nagase say. It seems like she still didn't agree with me. I guess she never would. She struck me as more of a pacifist anyway. Strange profession for someone like that. But I would ponder on this some other time.

I sighed and stood up. "I'm tired, I'll see you guys tomorrow." I said walking towards my room.

In truth I wanted to just be alone. I needed to get these dark feelings out of my head before I took it out on Chopper or Nagase. The topics we touched on made me think. Think a little too much. Before now my life had a single direction and a purpose. Now I didn't know what to be. I knew that I wasn't going to be a pawn of the military though. All the politics and such.

" _Soldiers like us are too stupid to think for ourselves."_

I was starting to piece together what he actually meant. The double meaning behind it. That perhaps the higher ups didn't want us to think for ourselves. So if we did, then we were defying our natural orders. And we could become dangerous.

That's as far as I got when I reached my room. I opened up the door and stepped inside. I set my soda on the counter in my room and pressed the button on my stereo next to it. The CD inside began to spin and I pressed play. I took my soda back and walked across to sit on my bed.

Soon a familiar song started playing. Show Me How to Live by Audioslave. A classic, and particularly similar to how I was feeling right now. Thinking about what to do who to be. Truly troubling things for the mind. I sipped on my soda as the chorus kicked in.

" _You gave me life, now show me how to live!"_

Truly. How do I live if I had no idea what was life. My past showed it. All I cared for was the air. The sky. Flying among the clouds and birds. Desperately wanting to be the man of the sky. A pilot. And now that I had my way… now I was without a purpose.

Perhaps life would show me what to do now. Perhaps I would just float through life now that I have fulfilled my desire in life. With a one track mind like I have it was hard to fix on anything else but your one goal. And once you reach that goal… you find yourself lost. Not knowing where to turn or what to do. And that's how I felt. Confused, and alone.

But there was something else on my mind.

" _You thought you made amends, you better think again before my role defines you!"_

Nagase's question stuck with me the night. What did I want to be? I still had no idea. But I knew that I would not be some soldier to do only as he is told. Simply being commanded to do anything necessary for victory without question. No. I would question. From that moment on I would question all orders, because I believe that's what Captain Bartlett was trying to tell me. And through this revelation, I knew what I wanted to be.

" _Show me how to live!"_

I would do the right thing, no matter what.

* * *

Fin.

A/N: First mission, yay! Now then, things are escalating and the squad is finally formed. The crew starts to get closer and bond as the missions go on. On another note I felt it crucial to put Blaze without fear and without remorse. But with the absence of those feelings it makes him unhuman and given his kill record I figured that would be a good way to fortify his character. But you will see what will happen to him as the story goes on and the motivations of later missions are revealed. After all he becomes the squadron leader. Having to watch out for other lives. That could change just about anyone's mindset. Also i felt like music helped build the actual game so i started to put little segments that help with the story. Nothing more just little bits. Tell me what you think of that.

So love it or hate it, please leave me a review. If you agree or disagree with the way I portray Blaze then let me know but I am attempting to try and make him as believable as possible as well as crafting my idea of his character from playing the game.


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